Where men are bloody ‘Nyeri-fried’

Nyeri women are known to be warriors. You bring ‘nyoko nyoko’ and she teaches you a few lessons why a camel from Othaya can’t pass through the eye of the needle that is lost in a haystack in King’ong’o.

So, when harrowing confessions of men being battered by their Nyeri wives flooded the media in 2012, the “Nyeri Woman” suffered a blanket condemnation of the oft-quoted stereotype that they are ‘violent, no-nonsense hot heads.’

In fact, the joke in Nyeri is that an adult male with 32 intact teeth is not from Mweiga, Mukurweini , Mathioya or Kieni constituencies in Nyeri.

Back in 2012, Simon Kiguta (pictured above) from Mihuti village in Mukurweini had his face turned into one that resembled a home-made polythene soccer ball, if the panga cuts that crisscrossed his face were anything to go by.

He was admitted at the Nyeri District Hospital in a serious condition suffered at the hands of wife Juliana Wairimu, who didn’t fancy Kiguta’s demands to hit the sack after coming home in a drunken stupor.

Maendeleo ya Wanaume chairman Nderitu Njoka (who hails from Nyeri) visited the area and issued Nyeri women with a ‘Red Card’ for their violence against men like Kiguta, whose face was reduced to a ‘barbed wire.’

Kiguta sought refuge in his parent’s home after being discharged. Ahadi Kenya Trust later donated a power saw worth Sh70,000 to Kiguta to start a business and rebuild his life.

Why are Nyeri women so violent? Why are they domestically domineering? Why are divorce cases in Central Kenya highest among men married to Nyeri women? Thirty-year-old Patrick Kimaru still has a scar on his forehead, a case widely publicised following an assault by his 29-year-old wife, who attacked him with a knife and a broken bottle in 2012.

“She could have stabbed me to death with that knife. But as soon as I grabbed it, she whipped out a bottle, with which she hit me,” recalled Kimaru, who defends Nyeri women, insisting they are not bad as has been overly claimed in the media, and that the woman who clobbered him was not from Nyeri, but the neighbouring Laikipia County.

Kimaru has since remarried, this time picking a woman from Nyeri, and he insists he is happier than ever before, despite growing long nails on both hands “for self-defense.”

“People used to laugh at us whenever we passed through town together,” says Kimaru’s wife, 28-year-old Triza Gichune. “But deep in my heart, I am a happy and loved woman.”

Freedom fighter Captain Nderitu Wambugu, 82, says he is shocked that a married man can be clobbered by his wife – and blamed the worrying trend on uncontrolled alcohol consumption and irresponsibility among the young generation.

Selective grievances

“A man knew he had to provide for his family and loved his wives and kids. But love for money now seems to have overtaken that,” says Wambugu, adding that husband battering is not merely a Nyeri issue.

But Nyeri lawyer Wahome Gikonyo believes that although few divorce cases are filed in Nyeri, husband battering is real.

Gikonyo said the major problem is that men who file divorce suits are selective on the grievances they want addressed by divorce courts, and exclude physical assault issues.

“They use such polite words as their spouses being ‘cruel’ and ‘adulterous’ and very few will mention a beating,” says Gikonyo.

Linnet Njoki, 60, a shoe vendor in Nyeri, however, accuses “husbands of nowadays” of being stingy, even when they do not take alcohol.

“It is not only about drunkenness, but some of these men cannot even buy salt in the house,” she said.

Central Region National Council of Churches Regional Coordinator, Wilson Wanyoike, a counselling psychologist, said “marital violence is a product of failed marriages.”

He notes that: “It’s is not a Nyeri problem, but a product of frustrations and rejection of one party by the other. The solution is proper counselling.”

Hardworking women

Nderitu Njoka claims 2.1 million men countrywide are physically assaulted by women, and that “Nyeri came into prominence first because people there are enlightened and some victims found it wise to open up about their ordeals.” He adds that, “One factor compounding ‘Nyerification’ of men is the strive by women for independence from their male counterparts.”

Ken Munyua, a psychologist, says women who come from Nyeri are said to be very tough. “It’s probably because most of them have grown up knowing they can’t just take anything from a man, and maybe that’s the tendency. Also, maybe their capability to handle stress is low.”

Munyua adds: “It could be something they have learnt after witnessing similar situations that ended in divorce or violence.”

Well, Nyeri Women don’t consider themselves violent or husband batterers. Mary Njoki, a fruit vendor in Nyeri claims Nyeri women become aggressive because they are hardworking, only to be disheartened by their lazy husbands.

“We are very loving and hardworking, not husband batterers as some people claim out there,” said Njoki. As a matter of fact, it is common to see women in reflector jackets gravelling roads in Nyeri – with only a few men in sight. Contractors allegedly prefer the women for such tasks in Nyeri, since men reportedly run to pubs as soon as they receive their wages.

Most women however think the negative publicity they receive is due to an ‘overly idle media.’

 - Additional reporting by Irvin Jalang’o