Where did all the real guys go?

                  Modern men's habits have greatly evolved

It is easy to spot a Nairobian at a village funeral. They will probably have dark glasses on even on a very grey day and will keep constantly fidgeting with their smart phones or taking random pictures using a large ipad. At some point, they will turn around and ask another flashy dressed colleague in shades, whether they are also having trouble viewing their tweets.

You will notice that they look around a lot, drawing attention to themselves and the water bottle will be a dead giveaway. Nairobians are very concerned about re-hydration outside city limits and a true Nairobian and their water bottle are hard to part. These stereotypes are real and they play out regularly in rural areas when city folk descend for communal ceremonies. Funerals offer a great opportunity for posturing. The ability to display symbols and gestures of superiority over common rural folk has a primary reward known as attention that we fight tooth and nail for in the city.

In a city of four million people, it takes a lot effort to stand out. To become somebody amongst a sea of nobodies takes concerted effort and strategy. For men, striving to fill their alpha boots, the first base is the car you drive. The bigger the better, the sleeker the more seriously one is perceived. Women will dismiss a man for his stuttering weak lines and poor dress sense but the moment he clicks open the doors of a smooth convertible, all his previous sins are forgiven. Perception has become reality and the man who learns to pose will reap the short term benefits of the faking game.

Therefore posturing has become a way of life for men in the city. Men have being posing for so long most have simply forgotten how to be. Stripped of the outward symbols and perches of privilege, the average guy has little to offer other than a long list of insecurities. This carefully crafted image of importance rarely holds up to scrutiny and city women are now loudly complaining of the true scarcity of 'real men'.

Self-fulfilled men who aren't trying to be something a magazine says they should be. This must explain why many concerned wives are trying to get their hubbies recruited in one male empowerment program after another. In these confusing times, guys have to go back to school to learn how to be men.