Let's Talk Sex

[Photo: File]

In their 1990s smash hit, Let’s Talk about Sex, legendary rap trio Salt N’ Pepa stirred up the sex debate among young people - at a time when few dared - across the world. The trendy urban unit had ventured into an otherwise controversial topic which most parents and religious groups had been shy of. The song’s lyrics were brutally forthright yet witty and catchy, making it easy to pass the message.

 

“Let’s talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd,

Don’t decoy, avoid, or make void the topic

Cuz that ain’t gonna stop it

Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows

Many will know anything goes

Let’s tell it how it is, and how it could be

How it was, and of course, how it should be

Those who think it’s dirty have a choice

Pick up the needle, press pause, or turn the radio off

Will that stop us, Pep? I doubt it...” the lyrics went.

 

Decades later, it is with the same unease that the current condoms debate has been received. The showdown between those advocating condoms to be made available to school children and those against the idea continues to heat up, one can only wonder who will carry the day.

The reckless sexual behaviour by Pulsers in social parties, school and other social events is only a secret to those who bury their heads in the sand.

The focus has however shifted from them and to children as young as ten feared to be having unprotected sex.

This reason could be the motivation behind the introduction of the Reproductive Health Care Bill that wants children as young as ten to have access to reproductive health services including the use of contraceptives without the consent of a parent.

The Bill introduced by nominated Senator Judith Sijeny has stirred uproar from parents, the church as well as teachers’ unions. The sentiment across the board are similar... that allowing children access to contraceptives will encourage immorality and it will be an acknowledgement that kids are having sex.

Whether we like to accept the harsh reality of children having sex or not; the new Kenya Aids Indicator Survey report (KAIS 2012) released by the Ministry of Health recently will burst a few bubbles.

According to the report, 6.7 per cent of children between the ages of 12 to 14 years old sampled for the report have had sexual intercourse. The report learnt that most of the children in this group started having sex when they were just ten years old.

18.3 per cent of the same age group reported to have had three or more sexual partners within the time they have been having sex with 70.8 per cent reporting to have had only one sexual partner.

These reports are proof that kids are having sex, but are they being safe? What would drive a ten-year-old, clearly without the wherewithal to understand the ramifications of sex, to have intercourse at such a young age?

24.8 per cent of the 12-14 year olds sampled for the KAIS 2012 report said their reason for having sex was they just wanted to have sex. 21.3 per cent said it just happened with 18.9 per cent they had sex because they were in love.

5.1 per cent of these kids had no idea what a condom is, a clear indicator that they were having unprotected sex. Only 22.1 per cent of those who knew what a condom was and probably how to use it said they used it every time they had sex.

It may be consolation- albeit scant- to know that 72.2 per cent of the 12 to 14 year olds knew where to get condoms if need be.

Dr Joseph Muleka, a sociologist at the University of Nairobi, is of the opinion that allowing ten-year-olds to access condoms and other contraceptives is rather rash.

“These are isolated cases so I do not think we should universalise this: that every ten-year-old is having sex. Giving them access to condoms is another way of facilitating the vice, even for those children who would have otherwise not have thought of having sex. Their curiosity will be sparked and they will want to quench that curiosity,” he adds.

Ten to 14-year-olds are however not under the most vulnerable age bracket, which is 15 to 24 year olds; an age bracket where most college students lie. This age bracket is most vulnerable to contracting HIV.

Campus students have been known to engage in reckless sexual behaviour with ‘freshers’ being a main target.

Different studies have shown that women are at high risk of contracting HIV than men due to different reasons that include physiological disposition as well as their vulnerability to sexual violence. In campuses however, the spread of HIV among women has been attributed to the tendency for women to have sex in exchange for favours such as gifts, marks and money.

The 2012 KAIS report points out this fact saying HIV prevalence is higher in women than men of the between the ages of 15 to 24.

A news piece in one of the local dailies recently reported that the high number of new HIV infections in Kakamega town was attributed to the rise of universities in the town. According to the news report, the alarm was raised by the National Aids Control Council, which said most students were having unprotected sex for financial favours.

Despite universities having agreed to have a core unit in HIV/Aids to sensitise the students on the disease as they start their lives in the university, students continue to throw caution to the wind.

Solomon Mutembi, a recent graduate, admits that though his debut to sex was not in campus but in high school, he did not use protection. “The encounter was not planned for so I did not have time to buy or get protection. In campus I did use protection, on and off. The use of protection would sometimes be determined by the girl I was with. Some would insist nothing will happen without protection and sometimes I would have sex without protection because the girl may have agreed to it when I least expected her to- there is the fear that if you take too long she may change her mind,” he said.

For Lucy Njeri on the other hand, sex is a way to ensure she has enough pocket money for the semester. She admitted to having slept with older men some without protection for money and other gifts.

“I do not come from a well-off family and though my parents pay for my tuition, they barely have anything to give me for pocket money. I sometimes do not demand that a man uses protection because I am afraid he will get angry and that means I may not get what I am after,” she told Pulse.

Despite living in the knowledge of the dangerous paths they tread on, most admit to never have had an HIV test, whether alone or with a partner.

Solomon for example admitted that he had never had a HIV test. He however seeks solace in his steady girlfriend’s status, which is negative.

“Despite the escapades in campus, I finally went steady with one girl and she recently got tested and it was negative. That can only mean I am negative as well,” he said.

In a study published in Merit Research Journal of Microbiology and Biological Sciences and done by Charles Wasike on condom use in Mount Kenya University, Nakuru Campus; 70 per cent of the students sampled used condoms willingly to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS. 37.5 per cent deliberated on whether to use protection or not.

The study however revealed the use of condoms declined in students who had been in a relationship for six months to a year onwards.

According to Dr Muleka, our behaviour is a product of the society we live in. “We are living in times where our children and youth have access to all kinds of information. You may dictate what content your child consumes at home but you lose that control when your child leaves that door. We should have candid discussions on matters sex so that we equip them with information to make the right choices,” he says.

Different reports have indicated that though many advocate for sex education in school, there are barely enough personnel trained to take up the task. So given the statistics between the most vulnerable group in contracting HIV (15-24 years) and the debut age group (12-14 years) into sex and where reports say most contract

HIV, what strategy should be used to cover our bases?

“Two wrongs do not make a right so if children are having sex, we should not facilitate it by giving them condoms,” Dr Muleka concludes.