How about we combine all holidays into one week?

We have way too many holidays in Kenya. Mashujaa Day. Jamhuri Day. Christmas Day. New Years. Easter. Ramadhan. Diwali. Name the occasion, we have a holiday for it.

All of these are inherited from one or other religion, save for those on which we remember our heroes. This is not a bad thing, because resting and celebrating every once in a while helps to rejuvenate the spirit. But then, again, that’s what weekends are for, right?

It’s time for us to get serious with these holidays. After all, holidays scattered all over the calendar year are bad for the economy: productivity completely stops during holidays, as people take off and leave the cities behind.

Everyone whose job is in the service sector suddenly becomes useless. What we need, then, is to minimise these disruptions, which must be costing the economy billions in lost opportunities. What we need to do is combine all these holidays into one fat, long holiday, maybe two weeks long.

Zombies on steroids

It could be at the end of the year. We could pick the last week of December and the first week of January, give it a sexy name, and then cram all our holidays in it. Imagine the sheer joy of two weeks of completely pointless fun and pleasure, at the end of which we don’t have to do it until 50 weeks later.

Government can even help by decreeing that everything must be sold at half-price during that holiday. And, of course, it would be sweet if government likewise declared that all politicians revert to kawaida raia status for the length of the holiday.We would then work throughout the year like zombies on steroids, and then button down for those precious two weeks in which we could go mad with festivities.

But since that is not going to happen any time soon, enjoy what we have. Have a happy and prosperous 2015!