Tale of men who died in attempt to prove a silly point

During this festive season, many people tend to be free from work with only one thing preoccupying their minds, having a good time. It is during such times that men, just for fun, tend to dare each other to all sorts of silly games. Unfortunately, it is through such games or competitions that people lose lives.

Interestingly, more men than women have eliminated themselves by astonishingly stupid methods, a 20-year study of the Darwin Awards, an annual review of the most foolish ways people have died reveals. Darwin Awards a side, Crazy Monday has also established that more men than women die trying to prove a silly point or two.

We all recall a certain Tom Kiringo who died in his desperate attempt to prove that he could drink more alcohol than anyone else at a bar in Limuru, only to die a few minutes into the competition.

Tried to prove gravity law is a joke

How about Francis Mbugua who, not so long ago in a village in Thika, in a celebratory mood like the one we are all in, choked to death in eating competition? Mark you, this was not a competition in eating a delicacy per se, all Francis wanted was to prove that he could munch more bread and guzzle more sodas than any other contestant within the shortest time possible.

Of course what did he expect? People to sing Christmas carols and praise him for biting more than he could chew? All they did was watch in disbelief as he gasped for breath before collapsing and meeting his maker.

And this madness to prove a silly point is not limited to Kenyans. A broad, there are many similar foolish men. Take for instance Franz Reichelt. The crazy man tried to prove that he was both an awesome inventor and that the law of gravity simply did not apply to him. Differently put, he thought he was special and Issac Newton was such a joke.

Look, Franz Reichelt, a tailor by trade, dreamed of inventing the first parachute, a fashion accessory that would allow a person, just like a bird, to float safely to the ground after falling from a great height (perhaps after jumping out of one of those new-fangled flying machines they were experimenting with at the time).

Ha! He actually proved Newton’s law of universal gravitation is no joke. More specifically, he proved that falling from a great height will result in death even if you happen to be wearing one of these convenient, comfy garments.

Reichelt’s “coat parachute,” was supposed to function in the same way as a modern parachute. The ultimate test of his invention was when, in 1912, he jumped off the Eiffel Tower in front of an assembled group of worried onlookers. You can pretty much imagine how that went. He died.

Too special to be killed by poison

Bando Mitsugoro VIII tried to prove he was immune to poison.

He tried to prove that he was invincible, at least where poison was involved. Bando Mitsugoro VIII was a Japanese Kabuki actor, good enough to be named a “living national treasure” by the Japanese government, a title that became particularly poignant in 1975 when he became rather the opposite of living.

On the 16th of January of that year, Mitsugoro went to a restaurant with friends and ordered four “fugu livers.” These are better known in Western society as “a deathwish”, as the fish are extremely poisonous.

Mitsugoro’s intention was to prove his immunity to the poison by ingesting four times the amount that could ordinarily kill someone. Why did he think he was immune? We’re guessing he didn’t, and was just one of those guy who likes to make silly bets, for instance at parties for the sake of entertainment.

Mitsugoro must have died looking up at some of his friends, pointing and saying they knew he, to borrow street parlance, is full of $#!t and that he should pay up (we’re just assuming a bet was made somewhere along the line).

Died in attempt to entertain interns

Garry Hoy, a lawyer from Toronto, Canada, in his desperate attempt to entertain interns at his office, tried to prove that glass on high rise buildings — like the glass windows of his 24th storey office — is very strong and in fact unbreakable, and that the universe has no sense of irony.

“How can I get the interns in the office to respect me,” he must have asked himself. Garry tested his little theory by slamming his body up against the glass. He burst through the window and plunged to his death, leaving a group of nervous interns either freaking the hell out.

What is shocking about this story is that the window gave way on his second attempt. Apparently Garry was unable to rest after having risked his life just one time. We can imagine how the scene went down: Garry: “These windows are unbreakable, kids!”

[Pwahaha! Hahaha! They all laughed] Garry: “No really, check this out bwana. And by the way, don’t try this at home, kids.” [Garry hurls himself at the glass to shocked cries. The glass holds, and raucous applause erupts from the interns.]

Garry: “Hold your applause. I’m not satisfied with having proved the strength of this glass just once.” Garry: “Let’s see what you’re really made of, glass.”

[Garry gets a 30 foot running start and launches himself, Superman style, through the glass. This time, the window gives way and sends him plunging to his death, as interns laughed their heads off.]

Perhaps the best (or worst, if you value human life) part about this story is that it wasn’t actually the glass that broke — the window pane popped out, and is the reason he fell to his death. So, in a way, Garry actually did prove his point, though we figure it wasn’t much consolation to his family.

She tried to prove she could live without urinating

Poor Jennifer Strange tried to prove that as silly as radio contest can be, they could never be retarded enough to actually kill you. Jennifer Strange was a 28-year-old woman and a mother of three from California. As far as we know, she lived a perfectly normal life, until she saw a chance to get the hot toy of the year in a radio competition.

In 2007, the radio station KDND 107.9 held a competition in which participants had to consume copious quantities of water without using peeing. The prize, as you may have guessed, was a toy, and Jennifer Strange felt she needed one of these so badly that she would go against thousands of years of biological imperative and prove that she didn’t need to urinate.

Jennifer died of a condition known as “water intoxication”, which is caused when vast amounts of liquids are taken into the body and results in a fatal electrolyte imbalance in the brain.

On one hand, you could try to dress this up by saying she just really cared about her children. But then you remember that she wasn’t putting her body through agony and unnatural stresses to win some life-saving medicine for her kid. It was a silly toy.

Guess what? Everybody involved at the radio station was fired. And, adding insult to death, Jennifer didn’t even win the competition.

Man can live without food?

Christopher McCandless tried to prove that he could live without eating

He felt he didn’t need the shallow comforts of modern life, damnit. Look, everyone, at some point in their life, has had the desire to just leave it all behind. For some people, this involves starting over in another country, for others, it involves cancelling their World of Warcraft subscription. Christopher McCandless decided, the hell, he’d just leave his family, and all of civilization, behind.

McCandless had a strong contempt for the “empty materialism of American society,” didn’t need ‘frivolities’ like houses and electricity and just took off to live in the wild of Alaska, with little to no food or equipment. Just the way nature intended!

He actually proved that the corrupt, capitalist society he so loathed was pretty much the only thing keeping him alive. Though the book on McCandless’s life and the movie it spawned were sympathetic to the whole situation, many Alaskans believe that he was foolish to embark on such a lifestyle without the appropriate skills or equipment, such as a map or compass. Or common sense.

Alaskan Park Ranger Peter Christian had no kind words for McCandless.

Hear him: “When you consider McCandless from my perspective, you quickly see that what he did wasn’t even particularly daring, just stupid, tragic, and inconsiderate.

“First off, he spent very little time learning how to actually live in the wild. He arrived at the Stampede Trail without even a map of the area. Chris McCandless committed suicide.”

Many other men have taken own lives in very foolish ways. Take for instance the terrorist who unthinkingly opened his own letter-bomb on its return after he posted it with insufficient funds!

Good people, this festive season, avoid those retarded bets and just enjoy life. Happy new year.

—Additional reporting from Internet sources

Photo: www.whoateallthepies.tv