Exam leak throws teachers in panic as Okonkwo convenes emergency meeting

‘Things Have Fallen Apart!’ read Schola’s text on Monday last week. Schola is the school’s rumour mill caretaker. I knew it would not take long before she called to give the juicy details.

She can hardly sleep without sharing a rumour. A number of scenarios flashed in my mind; had Okonkwo, the senior principal been transferred and Depa who we all don’t like taken over? Or had a team of auditors landed after the AGM collapsed?

An hour later, I received a text message from the school secretary. ‘You are required to attend an urgent meeting in the school on Thursday at 11.00 a.m,’ it said. I had hardly read the text when Magarita called me.

“Socs, are you seeing what am seeing?” she asked. “This is the work of the devil, shindwe kabisa!” she hissed. Magarita was agitated as she was in the midst of plans to visit Israel with members of her church. The previous month, I had guaranteed her loan application from Mwalimu National Sacco.

Open defiance

She had told me she wanted to retrace the steps of Jesus on the way to the cross. Almost all of us sent apologies — genuine and imagined. Thunder had said he had travelled to Mandera in search of a relative who went missing after the Al-Shabaab quarry massacre.

Aeneas claimed that he was taking dowry to his in-laws on that very day. Okonkwo, clearly set on spoiling our holiday did not give in. He personally sent another text message to all staff members. The text pointed out that all were expected to be on duty even during the holidays unless on official TSC leave.

“Failure to attend will be treated as open defiance and may invite stern disciplinary action,” the text message concluded. Last Thursday saw a group of agitated teachers troop into the staffroom. Donatta came with her twin boys. Having fired her house help, she didn’t have anybody to leave them with.

The house help had been dismissed for taking photos in Donatta’s clothes in her bedroom and posting them on Whatsapp.

“As Chinua Achebe says, a toad does not run about in broad day light for nothing,” Okonkwo began by quoting his favourite author whose character had spawned his nick name.

“I have called this extraordinary meeting because of a very serious breach in the school’s examinations,” he said. He further went on to say that he had reason to believe there had been massive leakage in the end of year exams. Students who had never scored a grade beyond a D since joining Meta Meta had miraculously scored A’s.

Business studies and chemistry were the most affected. “Bishop Kanyari’s miracle prayers!” someone commented. A text ‘Kuna mtu amekula Jogoo (someone was bribed)!,’ started doing the rounds.

Pulled and pushed

This was in reference to the chicken Knec and IEBC officials are alleged to have eaten. “The office is carrying out investigations and whoever will be found to have compromised the sanctity of our exams will face dire consequences,” threatened Okonkwo.

“I have withdrawn all the entry exams that had been set before schools closed. Each department must hand in a substitute exam in a week’s time,” he concluded. “But sir, some of us are travelling,” moaned Magarita. “You can e-mail your exam from the banks of River Jordan or whichever location you will be in,” he cut her short.

Meanwhile, Donatta’s twins were having a field day creating havoc. To show her annoyance, she refused to restrain them. The boys pulled and pushed chairs across the staffroom while screaming their lungs out.

One of them took a sudden interest in Okonkwo’s glasses which the principal had placed on the table. He took them and ran out as the other shouted, ‘Grandpa! Grandpa!’ and wedged himself between Okonkwo’s knees, to our amusement.

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