Witchcraft faces ‘credibility’ crisis as man gets away with stealing witchdoctor’s paraphernalia

Going by the frequency of embarrassing incidents, witchcraft could be losing it ‘credibility’ among most Kenyans. If the rate at which witchdoctors are having ‘bad days at the office’ is anything to go by, then these hardworking men might just have to change jobs or close shop, altogether.

Not long ago, a witchdoctor survived death by a whisker in Mwazaro village, Kwale County. This was after furious villagers almost lynched him for failing to resurrect a dead man, after he had bragged about his ability to do so, and having been heavily paid and fed.

The witchdoctor had boasted about his lengthy CV, claiming that he had so far brought five dead people back to life.

But, tired of wasting their precious time, waiting for him to resurrect a dead man in vain, angry locals descended on him with kicks and blows, and chased him away — of course, forcing him to leave behind his valued paraphernalia.

Silly excuses

This was after he — at his wits end— began giving what locals deemed silly excuses, among them, “Ni uchovu tu washikaji na pia ni siku mbovu, bahati haijasimama (It’s just that I’m tired and also having a bad day at the office, otherwise I would have revived this man by now)”.

Indeed, as sages say, when it rains, it pours. More recently, in yet another embarrassing but ticklish incident, a bunch of witchdoctors in Bamburi, Mombasa County experienced double tragedy. First, one of them ‘chewed a blackout’ and convulsed while performing a weird exorcising ritual to rid a village of poverty and demons.

The ghostbusters had to suspend work and administer first aid and resuscitate their colleague while atop a grave before he regained consciousness. All the while, stunned and tickled locals rolled on the ground with laughter as if to ridicule the voodoo men.

But just when they got down to business, even before they had made any headway, local authorities cut short their mission, terming it, among others, a “public nuisance” and “indecent exposure”, seeing as the witchdoctors were performing the ritual in their underwear.

They were forced to leave unceremoniously, with Abdalla Mshihiri, the ghostbuster-in-chief consoling locals that they were just about to accomplish the mission, had it not been the interference by local authorities.

Exorcise demons

A certain Mama Fatuma Omar confirmed to us that she had hired the witchdoctors to exorcise demons, which, among other things, had been molesting some women in the area at night, causing poverty among locals, grounding development and stopping youth from getting jobs despite being educated.

The witchcraft fraternity was further dealt a major blow last weekend in Kirinyanga County after a man got away with stealing a witchdoctor’s paraphernalia and Sh20,000 down payment.

An alleged powerful witchdoctor from Kitui County had been hired to perform rituals to bust thieves who have been stealing bananas from a local farmer’s firm.

But in a shocking turn of events, a daring local thief turned the tables on him and made away with his tools of trade, rendering him useless and a laughing stock.

Despite cursing and issuing threats to the effect that the thief would run mad and return the paraphernalia and money in the nude, the witchdoctor was left with egg on his face after nothing of the sort happened, even after his ultimatum lapsed a day later.

The witchdoctor had assured John Kimotho, the farmer, that he had the ability to make the banana thieves walk on their four limbs and chew grass like cows. When word went round that Kimotho had enlisted the services of a witchdoctor to lay a trap for banana thieves, locals flocked to his home to witness the rituals.

Witchdoctor’s charms

Unfortunately, that was not to take place. Reportedly, a thief who had taken advantage of the huge crowd that had gathered at the home while Kamotho showed the witchdoctor around the compound, sneaked into the house and stole the black magician’s luggage, which had his paraphernalia and money.

After desperate attempts to save face and downplay the incident proved futile, Kamotho had to come clean and break the news to the eager crowd who laughed their heads off, questing the potency and effectiveness of the witchdoctor’s charms.

Even after threatening to make the paraphernalia thief walk naked in 24 hours, it never came to pass. The embattled witchdoctor left the home, with locals taunting and making fun of him.

“If he is indeed powerful, why can’t he bust the thief who stole his tool box and cash? He is a fake!” scoffed a villager as others escorted him out of the home.

Could this be the beginning of end of witchcraft? Time will tell.