Haters don't lie

When one mentions the word hater, an avalanche of negative thoughts is set into immediate motion in the minds of those hearing it. The word, of course, bears negative connotations, and so the reaction is justified.

Whether it is the narcissistic chick who believes that her female ‘rivals’ are hating on her sense of style; the noveau riche leaving behind a cloud of brown dust on his village-mates as he drives by in his new sleek Mercedes; or the newly appointed head of department in some low-key organization whose modus operandi seeks to shake the complacency of his junior colleagues, the word is never far from the mind. The word will suddenly materialize on the people’s tongue.

The music industry is probably the most dominated by the ‘hater mentality’. Musicians seem to constantly shadow-box some entity: the hater. Hip hop artistes, in particular, will toss this word in their songs at every given opportunity. Never mind that sometimes, it is not even important for the general development of their music.

The thought that someone or a group of people somewhere is trying to bring them down seems to be the driving force in the game. Phrases like ‘haters are going to hate,’ and ‘they hate on me but I am still going strong’ are commonplace. So common, in fact, that you can anticipate them in a new jam.

However, what seems to escape this good crop of people (those being hated on) is the fact that their “tormentors” are actually their mentors! Isn’t that what those who point out your shortcomings are called?

Haters desire that you succeed. Oh yes, they do! They don’t hate in vain. No one does. They do what they do to challenge you to work harder. Remember the worn out maxim, ‘everything has a purpose’?

A hater is a friend on the other side. He is not a fence-sitter like some people you know. He is with you; singing the same song (no pun intended) as you but with a different voice. He is the part of you or your work that you do not want to confront. He represents (and presents) the alternative perspective. You will say that a hater lies, but that is because you refuse to buy his truth. Truth is relative.

No one is as honest as a hater. He is the mirror. Your mirror. He shows you your image without distortion. While a friend will often sugar-coat his comments, carefully selecting the ‘appropriate’ words that he knows will feed your frail ego (pursuit for fame is a function the ego), the critic will hit the nail right on the head. Joff Day in his book Forgive Release and be Free, says that “…love without truth is sentimentality and truth without love is brutality.” Though haters may do it in a brutal way, they still help one know that something is right or wrong somewhere.

 

 

It will not matter that he does so with a sledge-hammer. It will not matter that it leaves you hurt in the end. Pain is good. It makes you grow. It offers you an experience that if you explore well, will give you a new product. Haters feed your creativity. And who, on the face of this planet, hates creative energy?

If you do, then you are a ‘hater’ and you don’t even know it!

 

That makes me sound like a hater, right? And you know how such losers should be treated? Ignore them! But once you do, pinch yourself on the wrist! Hard!

A hater is worth your time. His observation is worth your attention. To dismiss him is to run away from your insecurities. Joff reminds you: “…we all have areas of insecurities and rejection within us. None of us is secure as we think we are!” To shun his word is to amplify your inhibition. It is to remain in your comfort zone. And this is especially bad for you if you spend a lot of effort to fake yourself.

You may not agree with the approach they give your art, but common sense demands that you put aside your ego and appreciate their level of honesty. It shouldn’t be hard. Artists keep an open mind, all thanks to the nature of their art. 

I will now head to the nearby cafeteria, grab me a hot cup and sip it as I mull over who hates me and why. Will you do the same? Or maybe call up one of your haters and tell them, ‘hi hater, I love the fact that you hate. But I trust you mean well.’