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Expert tips to improve your sex life

Relationships
 Photo:Courtesy

Just think of the health benefits sex provides

If you’ve gone off sex , it’s worth ­rekindling an interest if only for the health benefits. “Orgasm stimulates production of the body’s natural killer cells, which fight infection, boost immunity and even offer some ­protection against cancer,” says ­psychotherapist Marisa Peer, author of You Can Be Younger.

“You also release oxytocin, dubbed the love hormone, which boosts mood, ­alleviates stress and reinforces the bond between you and your partner.”

Chill out

High levels of the stress hormone cortisol can lower sex drive, says the Society for Endocrinology. Set aside five minutes a day for relaxation.

Ditch the cigs

Smoking damages arteries, affecting circulation. It affects a man’s ability to get and maintain an erection and impedes men’s and women’s ability to orgasm, says Dr Michael Roizen, author of The Real Age Makeover.

Get fitter

“Studies have shown women who exercise frequently experience an increase in speed of arousal and ­intensity of orgasms,” says Relate ­counsellor and psychosexual therapist Denise Knowles.

Aim for at least five half-hour sessions a week of moderate exercise like brisk walking or three 25-minute sessions of vigorous aerobic exercise.

Sort your sleep out

Men who had less than five hours of sleep a night for a week had reduced levels of testosterone, the libido hormone, a study in Chicago found. Not enough zzzzs also makes men and women grumpy – not an aphrodisiac!

Keep a diary

“Record everything for a week – how much sleep you got, whether you exercised, what you ate, if you were stressed and how you and your partner got on. Then you can see what may be getting in the way,” says Dr Boynton.

Get talking

If you’re rushed off your feet all day and flop in front of the TV every night, you may feel emotionally distanced from your partner, leading to a drop off in sex. “Think what would make your relationship more enjoyable, regardless of sex, then share that with your partner,” says Dr Boynton.

Love your body

Women who see themselves as ­unattractive are more likely to report a drop in sexual desire with age, according to a study from Penn State University, US, on women aged from 35 to 55. So Dr Boynton says: “Concentrate on what you like about your body and remember that you’re almost certainly your own worst critic.”

Consider a quickie

Too busy? According to Marisa Peer, satisfying sex need only take 10 minutes. “Get out of your routine, try a different time of day, a different room, watch a sexy film or try role play,” she suggests. And don’t wait till you’re in the mood. “If you’re not interested to begin with, once you get started, the chances are you soon will be.”

Tone up down there

A third of new mums and half of ­menopausal women have a weakened pelvic floor – the muscles that support the uterus, bladder and bowel. Besides leading to accidental urine leakage, it also reduces sexual sensation.

“Strengthening the pelvic floor improves blood flow, improving the intensity and frequency of orgasm,”

Resolve niggles

Unresolved resentment can lead to sex problems, says Denise Knowles. “I often see couples where one partner doesn’t realise they’re withholding sex because they feel resentful about something – perhaps doing more than their share of the housework. Talking is key to addressing these issues.”

Check your meds

Certain medications, including some antidepressants and contraceptive pills, can affect libido. If you think this affects you, talk to your GP, who may be able to prescribe an alternative.

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