The wife is greatest danger in a home

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Due to the vast laziness of his breed, the expatriate occasionally finds himself at home late in the morning, eating a cooked breakfast that has been prepared for him by one of his army of maids.

On one occasion recently, this particular expatriate found himself eating breakfast while watching a documentary entitled, Hidden Killers of the Edwardian Home, or something similarly glorious. It was a programme studying those things (arsenic in wallpaper, asbestos in sinks, radium in socks) that killed people in England about a hundred years ago, and which the English didn’t know were killing them.