Discipline is not a four-letter word

Discipline is not a four-letter word

The most important lessons learned in the home are respect, obedience, reverence, and self-control and these must be taught with patience.

The object of discipline is the training of the child for self-government. Parents’ ultimate goal is to help the child become a self-regulating person. Since her self-concept will largely determine the extent of her self-regulation, discipline must not inadvertently attack her self-image.

There is a vast difference between telling a child that she is bad for kicking you and saying, “Kicking is bad, and I won’t tolerate it.” It is relatively harmless to attack another’s actions when she can learn to change. But it’s disastrous to attack her self-resect, for she can’t become another person.

Discipline summit

Discipline should begin the moment a child begins to assert a determined will and choose her own way. This may be termed an unconscious education. Child-care experts agree that the first year of life is the most important one for a child. This means that your child will probably need you more right now than she ever will need you again to give her a good start in life. Even an infant knows whether she can manipulate her parents, and if she can, she will. If an infant is not taught to conform to a schedule that fits into the family routine by the time she is six months of age, she will train her parents to fit into her schedule!

Avenues to well-governed children

1. Gain and maintain respect

The respect that a child maintains for her parents is in direct proportion to the respect she’ll hold for the school authorities, laws of the land and society in general. Respect, however, is a two-way street. A mother should not expect respect from her child if she doesn’t respect her. She should not embarrass or belittle her in front of her friends.

If Dad is sarcastic and critical of the child, he should not expect respect back. Due to fear, she may not show her true feelings of hate and revenge, but they will emerge in future years. Parents who gain and maintain their child’s respect during early years will have her respect during teen-age years.

The most important lessons learned in the home are respect, obedience, reverence, and self-control. These must be taught patiently, tenderly, lovingly, and consistently every day so as to become a part of the child’s character for the rest of her life.

2. Set limits.

A happy home always involves certain limits, for in order to maintain friendly relations, it is necessary to establish well-defined boundaries. Your child needs to know what you’ll permit and what you will prohibit. Specific limits ought to be as few as possible, and they should be reasonable and enforceable.

Limits also need to be withdrawn entirely or modified, as a child grows older. When she is aware of the limits, she doesn’t get into trouble unless she deliberately asks for it, and as long a she determines to stay within the limits, there’s security and acceptance.

3. Teach reason and obedience.

The goal of parents is to teach a child to guide her own behaviour, make good decisions, reason clearly about choices, solve problems on her own and plan ahead. When a child understands the consequences of her behaviour, she can make better decisions for herself when her parents are not there. By giving a child reasons for her actions, parents help her to reason out the consequences of her own behaviour.