Are you a beta female?

The beta female is the allure of many men given she is sweet, down to earth, a good home maker, ready to follow, her inner beauty glows more than her outer complexion. She will decorate the house, take your dog for a walk, water the garden and sing her way around as she does the household chores. She is not sold out to the rat race and her speed for life allows her to appreciate art.

The beta is the conceding type and will not argue with you over issues. She will not offer her opinion where it’s not needed, and if she does, it is with a lot of decorum.

Loyal and dependable

With spiritual and emotional depth, betas are discerning and good at connections. She can be loyal, dependable and fits the shoe of the traditional roles of wife - that of taking good care of the husband.

Some of the relationship challenges with the betas have to do with the fact that they are not good initiators. She will expect the spouse to pay the bill, fix the broken chair, arrange and pay for the holiday vacation and so forth.

You may sometimes have to remind her not to miss her next doctor’s visit. If you are a beta, you may find good company in an alpha male-driven, self-motivated and goal-oriented man for a spouse. This way, he will complement for your deficiency as well as challenge you to come to higher grounds.

As a beta, you are sensitive and will cry when things go wrong. You will need a spouse who can be empathetic and sensitive with the words they say.

Nice hair

In fact, one of your primary love languages may be words of affirmation - where compliments for your nice hair, or handmade dress coming from your spouse communicate love and adoration.

As a beta, you must strive for balance. Though you are not a good negotiator like the alphas, you can project vulnerability. Most men feel needed when they have to rescue the beta. You are also feminine and you can work your way in a relationship with your charm.

Because you express your discontent with nil by mouth or withdrawal from your man, you can easily spark a conspiracy of silence in your relationship. It is especially so if your man is passive and fears confrontation. Do not allow the sun go down on your anger. You may also go to the extreme of being a ‘martyr’ for your relationship to thrive.

Being patient, you can put up with abuse or settle for less than the best in your relationship. Therefore, you must find a way for being assertive without appearing rebellious.

Join an accountability/marriage enrichment group so that when you are unable to confront your man, there are people he respects that can rebuke or steer him on the desired path.

In marriage, opposites attract. It’s not uncommon for beta females to marry alpha males and vice versa. Whatever the case, no matter your personality differences, the Bible says ‘....the two shall become one.’

Your oneness is not in looking the same but blending your strengths and weaknesses.

Sheila Wachira is an author and marriage and relationships counsellor. 

Photo: www.mjemagazine.com