How to improve your dating life

Navigating the dating scene is fun, but at times it is such a harrowing experience. Going by the sorry tales I collect every week from heartbroken people, it is clear that dating is no walk in the park.

The situation has been made worse by the complete bastardisation of the gender roles.

Not too long ago, the man was the hunter (read the [wo]man eater of modern-day Tsavo) on the social scenes. But this is not always the case. The modern urbane woman has no hang-ups.

The women of today will look at a man in the pub, size him up, keenly observe the size of his fingers and proceed to make a conclusion about his sexual prowess. Depending on whether he makes the cut, she will go ahead and throw some sophisticated look towards his direction, careful not to look like a desperate whore!

Those men with short fingers like my pals Frao and Brayo have on many occasions said women should not focus on the length of a man’s fingers to put a finger on the performance. Unfortunately, they are yet to invent an alternative measure that the sisters can use to make a decision prior to plunging into the duvet.

They keep saying that for any woman with doubts about their capacity between the sheets, they would be happy disapprove that notion practically. Ha!But, surely, dating need not to be that harrowing, and one’s ‘performance’ should also not be pegged on a small part of their anatomy. There are some rules that one can live by.

Your gut

1) Listen to your gut.

Arguably the most important rule. How many times have you been out with a foxy new someone only to have them do or say something that made your stomach lurch, and not in an I wanna-make-babies-with-them-right-now kind of way.

Whether you are on a date, communicating with someone you hooked up online or just flirting with a cutie you met in the flesh, it is important to pay attention to your gut. Good men, the gut here is not that whole portion of your torso that makes you look like you are in your third trimester giving moral support to your pregnant wife or mistress.

Gut, here is the sixth sense. This is when the supernatural tells you relax it is okay or run for the hills!

Unfortunately, most men are unable to reason with their gut feeling once they are sufficiently excited by the prospects of the night. Gentlemen, this is one challenge we must learn to deal with.

Actions speak

2) Actions speak louder than words

Surely, who can ignore this time-tested sagacious wisdom? During the course of our dating life, one will most likely find themselves on a date with someone whose actions speak louder than their words.

Maybe they are attentive and chivalrous to you, but you treat the waitress or the bar man like yesterday’s manure. Please, pay attention to such red flags.

And if they are too many, remember this is not an Arsenal FC or Manchester United FC match to have red flags waved on the retraces. Run baby run!

3) Don’t play games

Successful singles know that what goes around comes around. They also know the importance of being honest and well intentioned with the people you date. As a successful single (is there such a thing or they are just players? Anyway...) you owe it to yourself and the people you date not to play games.

Call when you say you are going to call. Just don’t let another woman’s son or daughter sip endlessly to cold coffee as you claim to be stuck in traffic when indeed you are with someone else.

Just don’t play games with other people’s feelings and time. These things can come back to bite you.

Photo: rollingout.com