Why you should not ditch her this Valentine

Kenyan men never cease to amaze me. While their counterparts in the West are losing their heads over which Restaurant they will choose to wow their bae’s and hopping from one jewellery store to the other to make this day special, ours are busy coming up with silly hashtags like #PreValsBreakUpLines.

Some tweets bordered on insane and hilarious while others were just sad. This one I must admit, took the crown;

Martial United fc ‏@jeffshynski

#PreValsBreakuplines

Bae:Hun you look hot today

Me:Hold up woman,,so yo saying I have zika virus...its over b***

Surprisingly, these are the same men who will start complaining when men from the land of oga sweep us off our feet.

Seriously, someone make me understand what did the Kenyan lady do to deserve all this? I agree we have our downsides, we beat you guys up when we think you deserve it. Once in a while we dazzle you with our senseless demands and unforgettable antics. But all this really does not merit for you guys ditching us on this day when there should be nothing but love.

It’s like Kenyan men met for a mega kamkunji and decided to spoil valentines for the ladies to make up for a whole year of ‘pain and suffering’. I mean how else can you explain the fact that they put up with us the whole year, and then ditch us on Valentines?

I bet on Valentines you will find them holed up in some nyama choma joint milling around the grill each with a beer in hand. The main topic of their discussion being how they have dealt us a blow. The big rough guy who always gets a lashing from his bae will be grinning from ear to ear. He will brag of how he knows she is curled up in her couch drowning in wine and tears because she is all alone on Valentine’s.

You may think you’ve won but let me give you some free advice, you can thank me later. Ladies practically dream of this day, some may deny it but its true. From a young age, we progress from just putting on red dresses or having a bougainvillea flower stuck on our hair the whole day. As we grow, we hope to land that guy who will give us the treat of our lives on Valentines.

In fact, our relationships revolve around this one day. It is day one of the relationship calendar. Whatever you do on Valentine’s Day is enough to atone for any mistake you make in the course of the year. Honestly I can’t stay mad at you if you bought me a timeless diamond necklace and then treated me to a night under the stars on the white, sandy beach of Diani.

Or if that’s too much, just make an effort to make the day memorable (We don’t want you singing uliza kiatu after Vals). Take me to a place you know I like, buy me flowers for once and tell me to my face, not through a text, that you love and adore me. Pour your heart out to me, in a love letter, just like we used to when we were kids. Make me laugh my heart out as we eat something you’ve cooked, then lets end the day seated on the front porch just you and me as we watch the sun set.

But whatever you do, don’t you dare pick a fight on the 5th then text me on the 10th asking for space. Space my small toe?!!! Then when the love tide of Valentine is long gone, you come creeping back. Boss, the world does not work that way.