Don’t let self-doubt kill your writing ambition

Jack London, an American author, once said, ‘You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.’ I know you have been reading this column, getting excited and saying I should do this; I should be writing.

The question is, when will you start writing? If you already have, when will you take that manuscript to the editor? Why have you been postponing? Have you ever realized the obstacle to your progress could be you?

Many writers plan but never act. Some even die with their ideas. Well, I should tell you today that you could be sitting on a bestseller!

Yet, that voice, that whisper, that self-doubt, will not let you start. That inner critic keeps on whispering, you can’t do it; this is not a good idea; your friend may laugh at you; you should give up.

Think of anything and this voice literally nips it in the bud. It just pops up an excuse after another. It makes you comfortable when you say, not now, I can’t put my thoughts together in this state; I will do it when I have time; I will do it when the kids are grown; as soon as I am through with this course, I will write a best seller. It just won’t cease and this makes you feel bad.

You must stop this voice, this fear that paralyses you. If you do not stop it, it will win; it will kill your dreams− it probably has. I meet many writers who keep on telling me, ‘I am working on something. I should be through soon.’ Many years later, they still play the same song. Any seasoned writer will tell you that they never postpone writing, actually, they write at every given opportunity. I have sat next to people who write on a plane.

They write any time an idea comes into my mind – you might have heard of prisoners who wrote on toilet paper. Prison couldn’t stop their creative genius! Do not postpone writing that novel, regardless of your circumstances; do not wait for tomorrow.

Lesson from Ngugi Let’s have a look at a practical example, a pioneer of Kenyan fiction: Ngugi wa Thiong’o started writing while he was still a student and continued writing even after college. He says, “I now had yet another way of framing my college times. I entered Makerere in the 1959 academic year... a writer was born. I had a novel out, Weep Not, Child, a second, The River Between, in the pipeline; a three-act play, The Black Hermit; two one-act plays and eight short stories; and over sixty pieces of journalism in newspapers and magazines. Most important, I left Makerere with the fire to weave dreams still burning strong in my heart. I had many more rivers to cross and mountains to climb before I would truly accept that I was a writer!”

What this means is that once you start, you have to keep on going. As you can see, Ngugi did not wait for a response from a publisher before he could proceed with more works; he just kept on writing. Unfortunately, many up and coming writers have given into their fears, which in return make their excuses seem so appropriate!

Their fear promises them a good day and time for writing – I will do it someday.

In addition, as you keep on procrastinating, someone else is quickly taking your place. Listen, none of us ever has enough time; smart people just make time and purpose to work on their ideas. You certainly know or are aware of Harry Porter, by J K Rowling. Did you know that Rowling wrote it as she travelled, to and from work? She wrote this story in cafes, and at home when her infant could afford her some peace and time.

May I add that at this time she was grieving, as her mother had just died! Do you still have an excuse?

Any writer who intends to leave a mark writes even during the worst of times, more like cunning investors who invest during a recession. I must hasten to add that I am not suggesting that you write when your house is on fire, no way. I am submitting that you overcome that fear, that excuse and summon your creative muse so that you pen that short story, play, or poem that you have been imagining. You are not where you are, you have not won that literary award, because of that excuse, that self-doubt.

It will be wise for you to think of the company you keep. Avoid people who shoot negative energy into your system all the time – those who keep telling you that you can’t, those who remind you of failure − after all, so and so tried and failed, who do you think you are? Reading more helps a lot and as William Faulkner said,

“Read, read, read. Read everything - trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.”

To conclude, let me point out that this niggling self-doubt will never completely leave you as a writer; even the best authors battle bad days and self-doubt. You should learn to control it, overcome it, and draw positive energy from it.