Men, why getting a head massage can cost you dearly

If they could, women would find the chap who introduced the market to the head massage concept and skin him alive.

Last week I had the misfortune of witnessing an all-out war at a so called ‘barber shop and spa’.

I had gone to have my car washed and stumbled upon the barber shop. Suddenly, it looked like a brilliant idea to kill two birds with one stone.

I stepped into the barber shop and found all the seats occupied. That was not a big problem. From my estimation, it would take less that ten minutes for the guys ahead to be done and I would take my turn.

As I settled, I noticed one gentleman in the corner who was having the time of his life as he enjoyed a massage. In fact, it would be safe to say that I believe I head him moan softly. Even though I may not have the sharpest ears, the glances people exchanged confirmed that they had also heard the same.

Then, out of nowhere a woman with a girth the size of a small barrel whizzed in. Hands akimbo she gave one look at the slender girl massaging the man and sneered big time.

“Msccchew. Look at you. Is this what you call a haircut? Who tells you that he had not showered when he left the house?”

The music in the barber shop was loud, so it took a while before the others noticed her.

When the music volume was lowered, she continued yelling like she was possessed.

“And you, is this what you call a haircut? Is this a kinyozi or a brothel?”

No problem

One of the men who had brought his young son for a shave scurried out. Given the circumstances, I would have bolted too, as it was pointless to wait and have the young man’s innocence assaulted by the complication that adults make of life.

The man who we all presumed to be the woman’s husband or partner was rudely awakened from his massage lull.

We all expected him to douse the fire or at least tame his tigress.

“Sweetie, what is the problem really?”

“What is the problem?” she shrieked back.

“Dick, you mean you sincerely don’t see a problem here?” she asked exasperated. For a moment I was not certain whether that was his name or an insult.

Shrink at the sight

“What do you take me for?” As she said this she moved menacingly towards Dick. It was becoming apparent with every minute that the only one who could save us from the wrath of the woman was no one but Dick.

Unbeknown to us, Dick was one of those henpecked men who walk around town as if they are the toughest thing since Dedan Kimathi only to shrink at the sight of their women. He was waiting for our intervention to save the situation.

“Madam, what is the problem?” the shop manager intervened.

“Get out of my face!” she shrieked towards the shop manager. With that all hope of mediation was lost.

The shop manager threw them out and the cat fight continued into the parking. Poor boy, what a costly massage it turned out to be.