Cheat on a Kenyan man at your own risk

[Photo:File]

There was a time when no self-respecting woman would dare cheat on her partner, no matter what.

But nowadays, women are no longer the angels they used to be; they cheat like there is no hell for fornicators. It doesn’t matter whether their men are loyal and treat them like queens. Some women, it has been discovered, will cheat no matter what.

“Kwani ni sabuni eti itaisha?” is a common phrase some cheating women like throwing around, in reference to their privates. Things are so bad, the situation must be the inspiration behind singer Chris Brown’s latest hit single, This h*es ain’t loyal hit.

Simply put, the only woman a man can bet never cheats (on her man) is a lesbian, the rest I dare say; they ain’t loyal and you can take that to the bank!

Believe me, the rate at which women nowadays cheat on their boyfriends and husbands is alarming. Men burn the midnight oil searching for ways to stop their wives from straying. One of the ways used by some men is the traditional method where they approach witchdoctors to chant some mumbo jumbo that leads to getting clamped in the event that she cheats.

consult witchdoctors

It is amazing the rate at which husbands are consulting witchdoctors. And the very interesting bit is the zeal with which they demand ransom from clamped men before the unholy union gets disentangled.

One such incident happened in Kericho County recently whereby an employee of a local road construction company and a banker allegedly got stuck to each other during a love-making session.

The husband of the woman allegedly demanded several thousands of shillings before he could allow the couple to be separated.

using spies

Ladies, there you have it, men no longer police you using spies, among other sophisticated means. They simply visit a witchdoctor and acquire charms and woe unto you if you stray.

Though I don’t advocate for men to use unorthodox means to put a rein on their partners, tell me what a man is to do when women aren’t loyal? Seeing as it is only men who seem to know where these witchdoctors operate from, women who intend to cheat must be wary, for their days are numbered.

More importantly, if you don’t want to be locked in a fatal embrace and hugely embarrassed as you are ferried in a Probox to hospital, as happened in that Kericho incident, don’t you dare cheat on the modern Kenyan man! He goes out of his way to catch you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!