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Under house arrest

By - | November 10th 2012 at 00:00:00 GMT +0300

A single act of sex may have landed many men on the road to fatherhood. But good people do not think that being a father is that simple. True, the joys of fatherhood are immense, but trust me, checking Junior’s temperature night after night to processing complicated emotions with Myra are not in my list of preferred activities. Those, however, are not my only worries.

Junior has suddenly realised that he can make good use of his limbs. Call it crawling or learning how to walk. It means one thing to me; herding the little rascal around the house day and night. You see childproofing a house is not that easy. Please note that I’m dealing with a tiny fellow whose brain capacity is expanding by the day while mine...well ..., is slowing down. And so Junior crawls not just on the floor, but on the staircase, the sofa and the bed as well. As usual, Myra has been doing all the reading about the hazards and has been quick to point out all the changes I need to make to create a child friendly home.

“Max, you must be alert all the time. You see, Junior can easily pick up germs from the floor and develop E Coli or intestinal parasitism. You must get the carpet cleaned on a monthly basis,” she says.

I don’t want to be the cause for Junior’s suffering from the diseases with such unpronounceable names. I have become a prisoner in my own house! Myra’s list of dos and don’ts is getting longer and longer.

“Max, don’t carry hot food or drink and the baby at the same time. Keep hot food and drink away from edges of tables and counters. Don’t hold Junior while cooking at the stove and avoid sipping hot drinks while holding your baby.”

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