My dad is cheating on mum

I have discovered that my dad is having several affairs behind my mum’s back and this is making me so sick of him. I’m not yet 18, but this is really getting to me and I feel that he is betraying my mother. My mother and younger sister travelled recently and since then he has just been on the loose. I have read some disturbing text messages on his phone and found pornographic stuff on his laptop. I know he loves mum, but I don’t know what to do about this situation. I think mum would be devastated if she got to know about this, while on the other side I think it is unfair to keep this from her. Please help me out of this mess.

{Jesse}

Going through your dad’s private messages and laptop is disrespectful and you may have to change your attitude about him before you talk to him. However, note that there are some things you cannot dare ask your dad in our African culture, but you can ask an auntie or uncle to talk to him about this nagging issue.

{Ogara George}

 

You are justified to feel bad about this situation because it may have grave consequences on many people. However, remember that the deal is between him and your mother. Your interventions may only worsen the matter. You can only make minimum interventions like speaking to your dad and register your disapproval of his actions. Pray for God’s intervention for He has the power to change him because there could be some things going on between them, which you may not understand.

{Pastor Allan Kiombe}

 

He is immoral and he should stop this behaviour with immediate effect! If you cannot talk to him face to face because of respect, you may talk to one of his close friends. Your mum should not know about this because it will affect their relationship and the family at large.

{Wilberforce Adekhela}

Share your fears with your church pastor and let him intervene on your behalf. You can also drop your mum some hints and let her pick it up from there if you think she is emotionally strong. Otherwise the pastor remains your best option.

{Tasma Charles}

If you mention this to your mum, you will be opening a can of worms. This thing may even raise critical issues between your parents, which?may result to a broken marriage. This would affect you more than anybody else. Leave their issues to them and stop invading your dad’s privacy.

{Etyang Denis}

My take

The right thing:

First, what you are doing is snooping. This is wrong because you are invading your father’s privacy. How would you justify reading his text messages and checking through his computer? Please note that evidence obtained under illegal circumstances is not considered credible nor is it admissible.

Secondly, being that these are your parents, this thing is beyond your control. Deciding to act with the information you have is tantamount to touching a high voltage live electrical wire; you don’t want to do this. Not to mean that there is nothing you can do about this, there is though you can only do so much.

This information needs to be shared with a person your dad holds in high regard. He should, however, not disclose his source under any circumstance because that will put you at loggerheads with him for life. Share your concerns and worries and ask him to intervene on your behalf. Let it go from then henceforth and stop snooping through his stuff.

Snooping is dangerous:

The problem with snooping is that you will always find what you are looking for. The best thing is to stop snooping and you will not find yourself in awkward situations like the one you are in now. For what is worth, if their marriage is going on well even under the current circumstances then you ought to just let them be — if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Yes, I know all the risks he is exposing her and the family, but let his friend do the talking.

Heightened tension:

If you decide to confront your dad, he may retaliate especially considering your sources of information, and the repercussions may be undesirable.

On the other hand, informing your mother will only put her in an awkward situation. No mother would want her son  to know that his dad is cheating on her! She would lose face and this will only heighten the tension.

Sometimes we have to accept that we cannot be everything to everyone.

{Taurus}

Dear readers, what is your take?