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Husbands aren’t produced en masse

By ZAWADI LOMPISHA | June 16th 2012


We were having a grand time during our pre-meeting assembly at our chama last week — yes, I have permission to share this — then the conversation suddenly shifted to husbands. Ok, I know where there are married women, there shall eventually be talk about husbands.

One of us had been speaking with her husband on her cellphone and her concluding words were “honey, don’t forget to buy the milk”. She didn’t move out of earshot, which is why we all heard he.

When she ended the call, Jemima remarked, “I thought it’s only my Daniel I need to keep reminding what he needs to get from the supermarket!”

Suddenly everybody had an experience or an opinion to share. I’m normally not quick to speak. First it occurred to me that apart from one woman who is widowed, we were all married.

Anyway, back to the conversation. The women went on and on about how their husbands couldn’t shop to save their lives, how even lists that you gave them could be turned into a disaster. One shared a joke she read where this woman’s husband comes home with one packet of milk, two loaves of bread and three tubs of cream. The woman’s exasperated response? “I shouldn’t have numbered the list!”

Lily, I guess by virtue of being a widow, was not saying much. Yours truly was lost in her world of observation. I didn’t once tell them that my husband rarely forgot to buy the milk and was generally not disabled as far as shopping was concerned.

After all the talk I got thinking. Many times we stereotype our husbands. We’ve been told that men will always cheat, that men can’t cook, that men will never help around the house...but is this really true. Does your husband fit those stereotypes that are happily shared and passed on?

I highly doubt it. We shortchange ourselves by relating with our husbands from the stereotype mode, never finding out if ours is different. I’m not one for stereotyping, but this just strengthens my resolve to pass on my message.

All husbands are unique, they are not mass manufactured, and many times, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that the stereotype that auntie Atieno passed on to you, doesn’t apply to your husband. Have an objective Saturday.



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