Where does he spend his valentines

I have been married for the last ten years and we have two children. Our relationship has been fairly okay for the years we have been together. However, I have noticed that for the last five years, he has never been home for Valentine’s and always comes late on that day with so many excuses about where he was. I am not a fan of Valentines and he knows this but I have just been wondering whether there is another woman whom he spends time with on that day or am I just being paranoid?

{Aisha}

Your take:

Much as I sympathise with you, I don’t understand your worries, as you have stated you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Maybe he doesn’t see the need to come home early to someone who will not appreciate that February 14 is a special day. Maybe someone else shows him how Valentine’s Day should be enjoyed. In those five years, have you ever tried to make one of the Valentines special and see how he will behave? Wake up and make him feel special this Valentine’s or else someone else will.

{Wilson Manyuira}

Do you know the meaning of Valentine’s Day? Why are you frustrating your man? There is something he is missing, which is a woman to share that special day with. Please join your husband this day and enjoy together. You either give him good company on Valentine’s or shut up and do not spoil it for him. Furthermore, has he refused for you to accompany him?

{Onyango Outha}

Please understand that everyone needs some time alone and some of us are naturally loners. Maybe this is the case with your man even though it is hard to know if he is spending time with another woman. It could be that both of you want different things from the relationship. So the question for you is what are you going to do about this? If he does not have time for you then just loose him.

{Beverley Odeng}

The truth is that you need to share your concerns in a polite way and see if he will change after knowing how you feel about his absence. If there is no good reason why he is neglecting you, use your instincts and look at his behaviour as well; he may have met someone else. I’ve been in same situation — if he’s texting and not calling or answering your calls on that day, he maybe with someone else and only gets back to you when it’s convenient. Don’t ignore your woman’s instinct; otherwise it may hurt a lot more later. Open up communication with him in a caring and loving way. It would also be good if you gave him some space and distance. If guys want something they surely go after it; if he wants you he will come after you.

{Lynn}

In love, you are either a priority or an option. If he really wanted to be with you, he would make time for you. I am wondering if he is not seeing somebody else. Well, I understand that he is busy but he should know that he has a responsibility to you and he should stop behaving like a beach boy. It sounds like he is not really into you. You could be wasting your time.

{Charo}

Valentine’s Day is a lover’s day and so he must be having someone who satisfies the day’s desires. My advice to you is that you be there for your man and make this romantic day worth it. By that you will be on the safe side.

{Timo}

My take:

The day women will learn to be honest and sincere about love and play down the hullabaloo surrounding that whole fiasco known as "Valentine’s Day," is when they will stop getting a raw deal and start enjoying the steak sauce of love. Why is Valentines Day a raw deal? Everything about it is just synthetic! Cities and towns turn red with opportunistic self-made flower vendors flooding the streets with roses because they know only too well the fate of a man who shows up at his fiancÈe /wife’s door step on February 14 with a piece of meat in his hands.

Never mind that fresh red roses have never been edible, it is right in the middle of the month after the expense laden January and most of us are already living on salary advance. We are all "in the box," as they would say. I have since time immemorial asked the rather unfortunate women in my life not to buy me anything on Val’s – even though I don’t think any of them intended to buy something. It’s the ingenuity of the whole thing that makes me marvel at how easy it is to manipulate mankind.

Back to the matter at hand I don’t think Aisha is being paranoid about this. I smell a rat from where I am sitting. If he missed out on five Val’s days because he works as a flower vendor in town, I would try to understand but being that he works elsewhere and comes home late with "many excuses" is an indication of only one thing; the existence of another woman in his life. I think you have enough reason to worry because it is not just a side-liner – this is actually fully installed person who has accepted to be your assistant and her status is confirmed.

Why do I say this?

If he was having a love affair, they (him and his secret love) would bend over backwards to ensure that the thing is kept undercover. They would have their time during Godly hours and meet on any other day apart from Valentine’s since they would both want you to believe that you are the only woman in the world for him.

Read the writing on the wall my sister, such acts are deliberate moves by your other third (the other woman) to illustrate that she is here and here to stay. Also that he spends the better part of the best days with him only to return him to you when she is done with him.

{Taurus}

On the next issue:

I am 26 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for the last three years. I was hoping we could get married this year. The other day, he informed me that he had gotten a three-year scholarship in the UK, and he would be leaving next month. He hasn’t asked me to go with him, neither has he asked me to marry him. I love him but I don’t think I can wait for him. I feel like I should break up with him. I am not sure he will come back, and I am afraid our feelings will change with the distance. Do I just wait or break up with him? {Lensah }