Father in tussle with children over who to bury their mother

The children sued their father, Stephen Ingati Ashaka saying he had divorced their mother and had no responsibility over her. [Courtesy]

The body of a woman who died five months ago shall continue being preserved at a morgue because her husband and children cannot agree on where to bury her.

Stephen Ingati Ashaka was sued by two of his children who claimed that he had divorced their mother, Geraldine Khatalia Ingati, in 1992 and has, therefore, no responsibility over her.

Chief Magistrate Bildad Ochieng’ extended orders issued on January 2018 barring Mr Ingati from burying Ms Khatalia, either by himself or by his agents, until the suit is determined.

Trouble started when Ingati prepared a graveyard at his ancestral home in Ilesi against the wishes of his children who want their mother buried at their matrimonial home in Lukusi in Shinyalu sub-county.

The two parents who are former teachers got married in December 1971 at a Catholic church in Kitale but due to numerous job transfers, Ingati avers that he was forced to move to Kakamega.

Everlyne Inganji and Meshack Bulinda accuse their father of neglecting their mother who died on December 28, 2017 at Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital where she was undergoing treatment.

The two moved to court on January 5, 2018 seeking orders barring their father from burying the body of the deceased on land Isukha/Mukhonje/393 instead of the matrimonial land Isukha/Ileho/18.

In a sworn affidavit, Inganji, 40, says that she and her seven siblings had finalized everything including paying a hospital bill to the tune of Sh52,000 "only for the defendant to appear from nowhere to collect the body for burial at a place other than her matrimonial home".

Inganji further swears that their late mother had expresses interest to be buried at her matrimonial land and not the ancestral land her husband resides at.

"The duties to the deceased on customs which include guarding the grave, tendering the same, cleansing ceremonies and matrimonial services shall be difficult to be held at the ancestral home as the in-laws are hostile and challenge of access exist," Inganji states in her affidavit.

She insists that the said ancestral land has a pending litigation in court which shall affect their mother's grave if the case turns against their father who denies existence of any litigation.

"Our mother never stayed at the said ancestral land at any point. The deceased had expressed desire to be buried at Lukusi. The ancestral land has an unprotected dispute and no person can take care of the grave as no house exists for her children," reads part of the court papers.

Inganji swear that according to their Isukha sub-tribe, Banulonje clan, where a wife is abandoned by her husband, the children left behind bury their mother. "I pray for relief as upon burial, the exhumation process shall be difficult," she says.

However, their father denies having divorced his wife saying he has been in constant communication with her.

In a replying affidavit, he says, "As a headmaster, I was constantly transfered from Kitale Inyenga leaving my wife behind. I have never separated nor divorced my wife despite being transferred, we remained husband and wife".

He insists he had finalized all burial preparations including the grave "only to be served with these pleadings in court".

"The ultimate decision, duty and obligation to bury my wife lies upon myself and I cannot take directions from my children," Ingati swears.

He maintains that the responsibility to take care of the deceased lies with the surviving spouse and not the children.

"The preparations are complete and I pray that the body be released for burial at Ilesi," Ingati pleads.
The hearing continues on May 23.