Word of encouragement to my bereaved professor friend

KENYA: While sudden deaths have different causes, the common denominator is that they are unexpected and unanticipated. The bereaved have no time to prepare for their loss or say goodbye. Their bereavement consequently comes as a shock.

A sudden death rips apart people’s lives. Most recent high profile sudden deaths have occurred during sleep or just before. The causes are not clear-cut.

I find the science of sleep and paranormal experiences quite fascinating, so I am far more intrigued than terrified when I read that “A Nightmare on Elm Street” creator Wes Craven was inspired by actual news stories about nightmare-related deaths.

Everyone is different, and grief is a very individual experience. How people respond to a loved one dying suddenly may depend on many factors unique to them, including their personalities, what has happened in their life previously, and their current personal situation.

However, it is clear that people bereaved suddenly suffer very much. They often have acute and lengthy support needs.

One of the recent sudden deaths involved the first-born son of my professor: A teacher, mentor and role model.

They are a very private family, so it is with all due respect that I share my feelings about their loss.

So harsh, and sorrowful, as only loving parents can feel the loss of a firstborn son, to a fate so sudden, irreversible and tragic in its finality.

“In our culture, when you lose a child, especially the first-born and he’s a boy, it is like cutting the head of snake," the father, talking about his departed son, said painfully.

“As human beings, we simply survive from minute to minute, irrespective of social, economic and political status or race,” the professor always reminded us during his lectures on cancer.

My professor, I’ve decided to write you a small note of encouragement at this trying moment. We can never compare your grief. You - and only you - walk your path. With our support. God willing.