Girl code: Family, friends who won’t leave your ex

You probably haven’t experienced the real pain of a break up if either your friends or family refused to break up with your ex.

Breaking up is a horrible experience in itself, so you can imagine having to see your ex hanging around your family or close friends after a nasty break up.

I know sometimes some people do this in order to hurt their ex even more, but if you take a deep thought, you will realise it just isn’t worth the agony.

I remember when I first experienced my big break up and most of my close friends still hung around my ex. Actually, come to think of it, that really didn’t bother me much.

What cut through my heart was the friends updating me on every step my ex was making. It got so bad that I had to set things straight and this led to me losing quite a number of friends. Those friends who chose my ex over me.

I couldn’t understand their decision. This does not mean that I expected them to inherit my enemies. What annoyed me is how they played ‘messenger’ in both our lives by carrying their small behinds to my ex to tell him what I was up to and vice versa.

I really never had an issue with those who remained friends with him but respected the break up.

At some point, a friend who lived in my ex’s neighborhood would give me a call very early in the morning to tell me that my ex had brought in a new woman into his house. That alone was enough to get me feel the impact of our breakup afresh even though it had been months since it happened.

Needless to say, I lost that friend the same day after I gave her a piece of my mind.

Another friend decided that it was his duty to go and run his mouth to my ex about my life after the breakup. Of course after any breakup, neither partner would wish to be seen as a loser.

That’s why we pretend that we have held our heads high up and are running the world even though we cry ourselves silly behind closed doors. So this man friend decided to go and tell my ex that I was suffering trying to put my life together. I have never been so angered by an adult’s action.

I don’t even know where I got the strength to call this friend and, with no limits, give him a piece of my mind. There’s really nothing I didn’t say that I had planned to say.

To date, this friend keeps the distance required. He even changes direction whenever we meet on a street. I really don’t care though, the guilty ones will always take off even when no one is after them.

People should realise that painful breakups always put the two concerned parties in a terrible state. If you are close to me, like a friend or family, the best thing you can do for me during such a time is use your common sense and use it well. There are those family members who will even hang around an ex and cheer them on in breaking you even further. If you are that kind of ex, just know that there’s a special corner in hell complete with extra firewood and petrol to reignite your fire just in case it goes off. Colluding with your ex’s family or friends to hurt them further is demonic!

I mean, what kind of demon are you? You are the reason some people sink into depression and never completely rise above it. Some of these people act like they will be married by the ex if they go talking ill about us to them.

Maybe you will, but trust me, the same whip that fell on me will most likely fall on you and I promise you that I will not hold back my laughter. Considering how powerful my lungs are, you will probably hear me laugh from another county.

People should know when they are crossing the red line. Hang out with my ex but find something better to talk about other than me.

You can even talk about how long the giraffe’s neck is. Just respect other people’s exes! It doesn’t cost much, does it? 

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