+ Post your Story

For Enquiries Chat with us on Whatsapp on 0712 538 802

Lifestyle
When mid-life crisis hits you
By Dayan Masinde | Updated Apr 23, 2019 at 11:08 EAT
when-mid-life-crisis-hits-you
A woman in mid-life crisis (Courtesy/ NYT)
SUMMARY

Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize that you lost yourself in the name of love

Mid-life crisis will hit you when you look back and realize you have been hanging around the wrong friends during your prime

The common life span of an adult is between 80 to 100 years. So by the time one hits 50, many go through a mid-life crisis.

1. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you reach your 50's without fulfilling your dreams. You look back and see that fear and excuses have kept you from living your life. Which is why it’s important to make the most of your youthful years doing what you love to do, pursuing a career that is your choice, not your parent's or society's choice, doing jobs that you love to do. In case you are already in your mid-life, don't panic, as long as you are still alive you can take back control of your life.

2. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize you had a good family but you messed it. Many people mess up their marriages due to affairs, pride, selfishness, alcohol and laziness to work on themselves, only to regret during their mid-life when sexual power dwindles and money isn't as attractive any more.

3. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize that you lost yourself in the name of love. This is why it is important to build yourself as an individual even as you build your marriage. Don't throw away opportunities for your growth to keep the one you love happy. One day you will despise him/her for holding you back.

4. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you look back and see how you aborted every pregnancy you got. Many women who have aborted or the dead beat fathers, wonder how old the child they gave away would be when they get to their mid-life. This is why you need to think long-term about decisions you make concerning your child. Will you be OK with the decision in your fifties and sixties?

5. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you look back and realize you have been hanging around the wrong friends during your prime. Many people are wasting their best years in the wrong crowd, friends who mislead and waste them and who are actually not real friends. Lots of people have made mistakes, got into crime, lost their character, messed up their marriage because of bad company. Don't let your desire to fit in make you keep people who are not for your growth.

6. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize you have been making bad relationship choices that keep taking you steps back. This is why it is important to give time and commitment to someone worthy. Check your decisions.

7. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize that you have been giving your all to your children and spouse but forgetting you. This is why it is important not to sacrifice yourself just to show love to your family. You will feel empty, as they feel loved. Remember you as you love others.

8. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you look at your children and see how bad a parent you were to them. If you have been passive and not interested in giving your children your time, you will see the consequences when they get to an age where they are difficult to mound. What you didn't teach them, the world will give them harsh lessons. Redeem the relationship you have with your children.

9. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize how reckless you have been with your finances. In your twenties, thirties and forties you will work hard and earn, don't squander it, don't squander your family money on betting, alcohol, affairs and give always to win applauds. You are growing older and your body is slowly losing the ability to work as hard.

10. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you wake up to the reality that you have become like your messed up father yet you vowed to yourself you will never be like him. Don't repeat the sins of your father, be your own man.

11. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you feel inadequate to lead your children because you don't even admire yourself. The best way to parent is for you to have a healthy view of yourself and succeed as an individual, be a role model to them. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your children should not grow up with pity for you.

12. Mid-life crisis will hit you when loneliness bites you so hard because you have been pushing people away. Don't mess up the friendships and networks you pick up as you grow. The more you add to your years the difficult it is to initiate friendships. Don't build then destroy.

13. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realise in your adult life you have had so many sexual partners but never known real love. Be careful with sex, it makes you use and be used leading to emptiness. If you have been abusing it, it is time to redeem your worth. Sex has a shelf life but your identity is for a lifetime.

14. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you realize you allowed someone who hurt your years ago to still control you as an adult. Were you raped, bullied or abused as a young person? No matter how painful the incident was, if you don't heal, that pain will dictate your whole life and you will feel powerless in your mid-life.

15. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you are single but feel worthless because you are not married yet. But remember there is more to life than marriage, sex and children. You are a whole and complete individual, love can still find you in your fifties and sixties. Don't put pressure on yourself.

16. Mid-life crisis will hit you when your marriage ends and you feel like a failure. Sometimes marriage just doesn't work, just because it didn't work doesn't mean it cancels all the other blessings you have in life.

17. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you eat the sour fruits of disobedience. Many times God will convict you to stop living a certain way or to let go of certain relationships. Many in their twenties, thirties and forties ignore this conviction only to face the consequences of their rebellion in their mid-life. God warns you because He loves you. It is never too late to come back to God.

18. Mid-life crisis will hit you when you have lived more than 50 years/600 months/18,250 days on earth but you don't even know who you are and what your life has counted for. Don't merely exist, live a life of purpose, let your life have a vision, don't just pass through life. Find you. You are special.

Avoid the crisis and if the crisis finds you, manage it well.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men towards understanding themselves and help women to understand men. I talk about how to be proactive and to cultivate a vision and take charge as a man; plus the man's place in marriage and family. I talk about how to deal with insecurities.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with women towards understanding themselves and help men to understand women. I talk about the woman and her purpose, leading her life, not being a victim of circumstances; plus the woman's place in marriage and family. I talk about how to be emotionally rational.

___________________________________

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.


Do you have stories, videos or pictures you would like to share with the world?

Simply click on Post Your Story button placed at the top of the website


This is a citizen journalism website. The views expressed here do not represent that of the Standard Group PLC. Read the terms and conditions
COMMENTS
Latest Stories
Popular Stories
Featured Sections
More From This Author