Today, I passed by a place where you and I used to go for dates and got reminded of you
I remembered how I used to question where I stand with you, often I wouldn't know if we had a future because of things you would say
This is the person you almost married.
No! I am not writing to insult you, this is a thank you note.
Today, I passed by a place where you and I used to go for dates and got reminded of you. I thought about you. No! It's not that I miss you.
I thought about you in contrast to the person I am now married to and I now understand why you and I had to break up.
I remembered how you and I would constantly fight, we rarely had peace in our relationship; but with my spouse, I am one peaceful soul, we somehow get along, even when we disagree. Peace is such a wonderful thing to have.
I remembered how I used to calculate what to say to you. I went through the messages we used to write each other a long time ago and they read so official, shallow and flat. But with my spouse, I feel comfortable, I can be me. I don't have to plan what to say, I just speak my mind with ease.
I remembered how I used to question where I stand with you, often I wouldn't know if we had a future because of things you would say; but with my spouse, I am so sure of my position. I have never been this secure. I can testify that I am properly loved.
I remembered how you used to make me feel like a failure, like I would never amount to much, I would tell you my dreams and you look the least concerned. But my spouse really believes in me, sometimes even more than I believe in myself. I have never had someone who gets this excited about what is close to my heart.
I remembered how I'd question how romantic I was with you; I did so many things outside of my comfort zone just to win your approval even though it felt fake. But with my spouse, my game and vibe is on point. I seem to naturally know what to say and do in a super romantic way. We gel well together and it's effortless.
When you and I broke up, it was painful because at that time, I really loved you. But I was too caught up in the pain to realize that God had to separate us so that I can grow and be available for the spouse that I deserved. You were all I knew at the time but God knew better. Sometimes God has to pluck us out of where we shouldn't be no matter how painful.
I struggled to love you because you were not meant for me. I forgive you for how you hurt me and I hope you have forgiven me for where I fell short. I do pray that if marriage is still something you desire, that you'll find someone who will love you as you should be loved. Sometimes it is not that people don't know how to love or don't want to love, it is just that the one they are with, doesn't create an atmosphere where they bring out the pure natural love in them. Just like me, you were loving the wrong one when you loved me.
I wish you well.
Thank you for breaking up with me.
All the best,
The one who was never meant to be in your future.
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