Hilarious quotes you'll only find in Kenyan matatus

A book is not the only place where quotes are found. Matatu stickers are loaded with phrases that will not only make you think twice but also leave you in stitches.

Be on the lookout for the following quotes the next time you board a matatu:

 

  1. If you miss the driver kiss the conductor.
  2. Kama una haraka shuka ukimbie.
  3. Unasema gari halina watu, wewe umekuja na wangapi?
  4. Hakuna stage inaitwa hapo dere.
  5. Hakuna stage ya kumi.
  6. Ukiwa na kumi nunua avovado upake miguu uteleze mpaka town.
  7. Uniite makanga kwa gari lakini kwangu naitwa sweetie.
  8. Dere ako na bibi donda anatafuta.
  9. Kuchafua gari ni 50, kutapika ni 200, kushuta ni sare.
  10. Kulipa fare ni lazima, change ni kungojea.
  11. Ujinga in kuambia conductor shukisha na umekaa mbele na driver.
  12. Kama hutaki kukalia kiti ya nyuma basi ng'oa uweke mbele.
  13. Hata nyanya yako alikuwa manzi.
  14. Hatusemi wewe ni mnono lakini ukikalia viti mbili lipia.
  15. When women are done with men, they turn to God.