Have you ever met someone so special with whom you can share everything and anything?
Someone who makes you feel like you have known them for eternity?
I guess that you have once come across this special someone.
As for me, hell yeah I have. You find that you are so compatible in every way, this person brings life to you, makes you feel complete and loved, the jokes, the laughter that came along, the quick glances, the stares and the smiles, the silly fights and the playful moments and above all the kisses, the long deep sacchariferous kisses, feeling his breath on yours, his lips on yours and his chest against yours and the rest that come with that. This guy is perfect before your eyes.
Then this goes on for quite a while not knowing what the two of you have. It becomes confusing. No one speaks, you are both scared of defining what you have; as a girl you are more afraid to make the first move, asking, fear of rejection; who likes being rejected anyway?
So the best alternative is going with the flow hoping, crossing your fingers that one day this special someone will open up and say something about what he feels. BUT NO, nothing changes and you become tired of waiting. It’s like waiting for rain in the desert. Something close to impossible. IT HURTS.
It really hurts and now thoughts begin to flock in: ‘maybe you actually never meant anything to this guy’…’maybe he was just passing time’…’what if it was just a one-sided feeling?’ ‘But if it was why the hell did he make the first move?’ ‘Why did he have to ignite this spark that he couldn’t keep burning?’ ‘What of the signs?’ ‘The many things you had in common?’ ‘The compatibility?’ ‘Was it all a joke?’
Moving on then becomes a solution, the solution that every friend suggests and on assessment, it is the best idea. You try so hard to get over this person though it seems unfeasible, but console yourself that you deserve better and that he wasn’t really meant for you and there is someone out there who is worth your love.
Days go by and you feel stronger in the sense that you are getting there [getting over this guy]. He is like a disease, hard to get rid of and damn! He comes back again…he is a weakness, hard to resist and you fall into the trap one more time. Now you have to start the struggle all over again!!
You then realize that this guy has messed you up, you can’t find another guy as interesting. Other guys’ kisses seem like a waste of time. When you compare the suitors you have, this guy is just the ultimate one, not that he is perfect but his personality is just the best that you have encountered, the bond created was too strong and everything of his matched yours. He is just incomparable. The shared moments, the nights together and all the memories make it even harder for you to forget this guy, above all, all your friends really like him.
It becomes hard to imagine that the guy you feel so safe, warm, free, happy and comfortable around isn’t and will never be yours. Tears become part of you every night, praying to the Almighty to help you through this storm. You were willing to do absolutely anything for this guy, help him through his worst and support him in all he does. And, the good thing about him was he could notice when you were down and would try to cheer you up during your sad moments.
On this day, he decides to finally speak up, saying how he knows he has messed you up, apologizing for hurting you and your feelings saying that he really likes you a lot but he doesn’t really know what he really wants, he himself is messed up too, he is scared of commitments and thinks that once in a relationship, things might change for the worst and it will ruin the friendship you have built; both of you decide to remain, friends, as it will be much better that way; though you feel crushed inwardly, it remains the best alternative.
How can you be just friends with someone who your heart longs to be with? Whom you have shared so much with? Someone, who you think is your better half? Your own soul mate?!!
Reality strikes hard and letting go is no longer an option. The dreams and the fantasies have to come to an end especially the thoughts of ever having a future with him.
Deep down you feel that you can never get someone like him unless GOD intervenes and sends one like him or better than this guy. Now, focusing on other greater things is the only way out. You got to pick up the pieces and carry on. Trying to make yourself better is also a plan that can help you focus more on yourself.
You still communicate… yes, because you promised nothing will change the good friendship, the guy is still amazing in every way; not even what transpired can change the love you once had for him.
And now it is time to see what God has in store.
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