Poisonous relationships in campus

"As you set your heart ready to contain a relationship in campus, so should you put yourself in your mother's shoe if you are a lady and if you are man enough then try to fit in your father's shoe," Crosslet got all the questioning eyes directed to her for a moment during a campus relationships talk hosted by the Bridges to the Future of a complete Woman program in Masinde Muliro University.

What did she mean exactly? It got me thinking of how old my parents are in their marriage life yet I have never heard them quarrel even for once. It is no secret, relationships have taken another phase in our generation. If I was all eared then I remember how my grandmother told me , a man would never date a lady and not known to their family. It is different how the relationships we treasure in campus are too bright in the darkness , away from the mentors like parent and elders . They however, come to light when things go wrong and the story is in the campus streets. That is when suicidal ideas come in. Girlfriend stubs her boyfriends to death! Boyfriend kills his girlfriend! News decorate the newspapers.

Do not get me wrong. I am not telling you to do what your parents did in 1960s. All I am saying is that the relationships we are building in campus are poisoned. The roots of the relationships we are building are shackled. There hardly a foundation that hopefully may sprout to a genuine relationship, full of love and forgiveness.

Never underestimate the power of prayers, they say. It is however so pitiful how religion and relationships have been set apart in campus. Relationships are taken to be so personal that not even God can hear about them. If I may ask, how many of you remember to pray for their partners? If you do, how many times have you done so? Keep the answer to yourself but all I know is that the number of times you pray for your partners are countable or they never exist at all. The most funny thing about ladies in campus is that they pray for their partners only when they are promised a date the following day. Men in campus pray for their partners if they expect them for a sleepover later in the day.

Talking of prayers, sometimes I cant stop imaging. What of that Tina who is with Tom, Dick and Hurry? What prayer will she make? " oh God protect Tom, he always settles my water bills. As you secure him from the sharks, go deep into Dicks pockets and fetch enough rent for me. Don't forget to remind Hurry of the date he promised me! I pray trusting and believing! Amen" Jesus Christ!

The reasons for which students in campus start relationships are vague. Have you ever known that some men find themselves in a relationship not because they wanted to but because they were trying and the lady said yes? Tell me, will such men not find alternatives when they feel they don't belong there? Some start a relationship for sexual satisfaction and what usually scares me is that apart from the sexual partner in campus, they have these innocent partners outside campus on whom they rely financially or whom they save for marriage. Some however, cannot hold the lust they have on someone's physical appearance hence dragging themselves into an empty relationship. The most dangerous situation however, is when one walks into a relationship with ill motivates of revenging for their past heart breaks.

The rush that most students have to get into a relationship easily drives them into falling for strangers. It is in campus where people may be in a relationship and they hardly know each other's last name. They date in one day and the next day they are in bed. The funny thing about such relationships is that ladies tend to give their whole not even saving their souls for themselves thus ending up frustrated and disappointed when they realize that the 100% they gave gives them 20% in return. At that moment, they are blinded by the obsession they share and everyone looks perfect to the other. It is only when the so called love fades slowly and the lady realizes that her boyfriend has a huge nose or the man realizes that his girlfriend has twisted legs.

Communication is one huge vocabulary not known by most partners in campus. There comes the issue of egoism. When partners conflict, they fail to settle their differences because their ego can never allow them to be apologetic or be good listeners to their partners. How can one claim that he/she is committed to a relationship when there hardly any communication . Lack of proper communication in a relationship can turn it into a living hell.

In a relationship, most ladies in campus concentrate on trying to change a man to someone else they desire and in search cases they refuse to see their own negativity. Most of the questions they tend to ask are like, " Beb, what do you like about me?" and not , " beb, what don't you like about me?". They tend to hide their dark pasts and regret later when everything comes to light.

I was interested when Rahab came bold and said love does not exist. She compared love to mere illusion. "Not even half of the women in the world love!" She said and this aroused almost everyone who was present during the talk. Love is for those who believe! This is the response she got from Wendy, this shy girl who speaks sense in matter of love. They could not let go that easily for Mariam saw how love exists but it was corrupted . Love has been misunderstood leading to betrayal. Taking you back to the Bible, Judas had this amazing love for Jesus but he later betrayed Jesus because of few coins. That leaves me with no choice but to conclude that we tend to graze on the other side because the grass is greener.