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Do you have a campus spouse? Here is what you should do during a breakup
By Evans Akello | Updated May 19, 2017 at 11:00 EAT
Couple break up all the time

It is really painful to see the love of your life gone not because of you but because he or she decided so. At campus, it’s like the new normal and everybody is becoming cool with it. But why? Campus mostly creates a good atmosphere for love or just say relationships. Imagine having a three-hour lecture a day or starting a weekend on a Wednesday? Isn’t that cool?


According to most of our campuses, this is the right time to develop your techniques and have at least a lady per semester as per what we were told in high school on how campus life will be.


Guess what! This is mostly the plan, but how do we get out of it? How should we react, behave or just say before or after breaking up with that beautiful lady you no longer require her services. It isn't the best thing to do but make sure everything is cool between you two by trying the following


Taking responsibility

Take full responsibility for your part in the ending, don’t just leave but have a say and that my just help both of you, as in:

“I gave up a long time ago when we were drifting apart and I just didn’t fight for us.”

“I stopped appreciating you and took you for granted.”

“I need something different than what I am getting with you and I want to move on.”



Take time to dissolve the ending by giving your partner notice and discussing reasonable ways to end things.as they always say time heals, she should have time to recover and also try to explain and provide reasons for the breakup. Spend a good deal of time reflecting on how you got into the intimacy bog and what you could have done differently.


Use this time to take great care of yourself by getting in shape, not just physically but mentally. This is a very stressful time, no matter how adrenalized you may feel in leaving.


Take time to feel all the emotions without involving your ex in a blow-by-blow battle. It is time for you to feel it all. Get a therapist or friend to be there for you.


Show appreciation

Speak highly of your soon-to-be ex, because what you say about them actually reflects a great deal about you. Some people tend to destroy the reputation of their soon to be ex not knowing that it might show all about you. Let’s say, saying how bad her face is or shows that you only go for faces and not doings.


Give space

Give your soon-to-be ex a lot of space to be upset and remove yourself immediately from any conversations that are hateful or abusive. This is just to say you cannot leave her yet you are still there during those tough times.

Refrain from clingy sex and keep appropriate new boundaries to avoid confusion and undue stalling. Respect your partner’s boundaries and their need for distance.

Give your soon-to-be ex-lots of physical space and let them attend to things without having to see your face.


Don’t owe each other

Pay off all debts and split things up fairly. Otherwise, it might be the things that bring you two back together by talking to each other which might otherwise stir up some memories you both shared.


Seek professional help


Seek professional help to mediate finality if you are too frightened and find yourself backing off from your firm decision. This might help you through the tremor and help you recover emotionally, spiritually and mentally.


Be friendly

Be kind to all of your mutual friends, as well as the friends of your partner. Avoid taking sides. There are no sides. There is just a loss. Her friends never wronged you so why pick sides? Unless you want more than just one loss and as we know, friends add value to our lives.


Don’t choose who’s right

Keep your words in the affirmative about the situation and avoid all attempts to make you right and your partner wrong. Again, it is all just loss. There are no winners.


Don’t have relationships until you are separated

Be faithful to your soon-to-be ex and do not involve anyone else romantically in your complicated emotional maelstrom until you are truly separated.


Avoid stress

Take up a new class or hobby to help you fill the new free time that is often fraught with compulsive over-thinking. Take a short road trip alone or with friends to get some perspective after the big announcement.



Refrain from any social media postings about your status. RESPECT the transition.

Keep all your soon-to-be ex’s secret vulnerabilities SECRET. Do not ever reveal intimate facts. That would be tasteless and petty.


Move on

When you make mistakes along the imperfect road of breaking up, admit to them and move on. Making a mistake is not code for failure. And so as to say everybody makes mistakes but correcting those mistakes doesn’t mean that you are moving back together. Lastly, it’s painful to be involved in a breakup mainly at campus but incase of one then do the right thing at the right time taking into consideration the following.

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