Raising boys in a genderless era calls for rethink of traditional parenting

The boy child is trained to be dominant and brave. Maleness is naturally associated with nothing short of conquest and triumph. A man must beat adversity and deliver wins after wins. He must be a source of security to the people around him, especially women and children. That is how the menfolk are wired.

They are supposed to offer protection to the women and secure their comfort. While gene selection may inform outcomes, women seek only the best breed amongst men in terms of provision and protection. When dominance was expressed in terms of wrestling duels the winning men married the most beautiful girls from the best families. Today, women wait at the finish line to pick the most accomplished men who have triumphed in academics and have secured jobs that can guarantee them and their children comfort. While dominant height, strong calves, and well-drilled biceps counted back in time, money has become the new form of dominance and women can smell it from miles off.

In many homes, the only child that was protected was the girl. She was not allowed to go far deep into the forest even if it meant fetching firewood. Their male counterparts on the other hand could be sent on errands seven villages away provided they were armed with a crude spear and a stick on the other hand. If they got mauled by some wild animals it was because they are weaklings are deserved to perish.

Of late, there has been a new debate about raising genderless kids - children without gender norms or restrictions defined by gender expectations.

Proponents of the genderless agenda argue that they do not want to put any emotional burdens on the children regardless of whether they are boys or girls.

Whether this new view of life will thrive is a wait-and-see matter but it is a philosophy that is aimed at overturning some deep-rooted nature that defines maleness or femaleness.

The man had better be told the truth that women are an unforgiving lot who judge men on merit and nothing else. In Kenyan relationship circles, there is a joke that if a man loses his job and is rendered unable to provide for the family, he has a grace period of four months to get back in shape or ship out of the family house. Such is the ruthlessness of the female gender by design. It does not matter if the man contributed to building the house in his heydays.