Nairobi's biggest contradictions and ironies: One can get to Nakuru before Rongai

Nairobi. There cities in Africa. And there is Nairobi. Nairobi does not have unique accented language as say Kampala. Nairobi does not a have a distinct smell as cities in the middle-East where pungent perfumes define the atmospheric air that people breathe. Nairobi does not have a favoured ethnic delight that you can recommend to a visitor as say the Berlin sausage or the chocolate finos of Copenhagen. Nairobi does not have a specific world renowned-beat as say Lagos or the Kwaito in Johannesburg.

Yet it is a great city. Widely respected in the World. It has its fair share of strengths and dozen contradictions and brazen ironies. Here are 12 overlooked contractions.

Koinange Streets starts at the Gates of The University of Nairobi and ends at the Cathedral.

The street gained monotony as the unacknowledged Red Light Street of Nairobi. The hookers and call girls may have disappeared and left older, weather beaten ones but the reputation will stick for eternity. Has it ever struck you the street starts from the Fountain of Knowledge, home to the country's bedrock of intellectualism and ends at the compound of the Lord's Cathedral.

But never mind, prostitutes played key roles in the bible. And university students were once accused of moonlighting in the Street, besides.

Luthuli Avenue-Named after the great ANC icon Albert Luthuli

The first African Nobel Laureate is arguably one of Africa's shining example. He would cringe in his grave if he knew the kind of business that goes on in a street that immortalizes him. The street is a cesspit of contraband goods, teenage prostitution in lodgings that are disguised as restaurants. While the reputation of the street is grossly overstated, there is some credence to the assertions.It is not as black as some try to put it.

No Mandela Monument or statue or street

By consensus he is considered the greatest African who ever lived and when he died Newspapers groveled to bring every angle to his chequered life in the fight against humanity's ugliest abuse since slavery-apartheid. Ask anyone who is their biggest inspiration and eight out of ten will say Mandela.

Curiously, there is nothing in Nairobi that pays homage to the icon. Other than the University of Nairobi's hostel at the University's Upper Kabete Campus(of all places), essentially Nairobi has never found a way to honour the legend.

Never mind, our participation towards eradicating the scoundrel that was apartheid regime was nonexistent or passive at best.

The safest place according to urban legend is Not State House but the Israeli Embassy

Nobody knows why many people in Nairobi believe that the Israeli Embassy along Bishop Road is arguably the last place you want to try any mischief. It could be the near paranoid strip search and intricate security arrangement before you can visit their facility. But they have reason to be paranoid.

University of Nairobi-where civilization hardly thrives

Since the 1990s there is hardly a University of Nairobi student strike demonstration that did not result in students looting and stoning innocent motorists. They always accuse 'a few criminal' who take advantage' but the public knows better. Now every strike means owners of shops around the University must close and motorists would rather avoid the University way and surrounding streets. There are those who have opined that the university should be moved to place like Lukenya Hills.

Why Kenya's brightest and most talented have never embraced dialogue beats everyone. When was the last time you a saw a polished and articulate student leader from the institution?

Least polished legislators

As the country's top city, you would expect that it is the most learned and polished who will govern and make the city rules. Before MCAs came to be, councilors understood only the language of hurling seats and insults at each other. Many mayors, well let us skip that. Many MPs of Nairobi were not famous for their intellect, more for the lack of it.

Presently, the senator and the women rep have left many questioning their moral qualms given their well displayed shenanigans.

Cosmopolitan but the ethnic conclaves thrive

While famed for the diversity, you can tell which estate houses what community based on the area's member of parliament. Kibera is an obvious example. Fred Gumo was the Westlands MP coutesy of the Luhyia population in Kangemi And Kawangware.

Even isolated communities like Indians prefer Parklands and other secluded parts of the city where they exclusively live. Need we say more?

Night clubs without dance floor

Nairobians idea of a great club is the one with white soft lounge-sofas, blue lights and overpriced beer. Club owners met in 2009 and agreed dancing is a waste of precious seating space where guys can enjoy their drinks. More sales. In deed it was necessary to discourage the people who buy one soda or beer and dance with it the whole night.

Only one street is named after a woman

In Nairobi's CBD only one street is named after a woman and that honour went to the Kenya's first ever First Lady. Not to say that she is less deserving. But there must be women who have done equally deserving things such Wangari Maathai and Mekatilili wa Menza who should have a road for themselves for a more balanced naming approach.

One can get to Nakuru(159KM) before one can get Rongai (25 KM)

Nairobi's traffic is legendary. You can sit in traffic along Langata Road or Mombasa Road for more than three hours to a place that takes you about 10 minutes on a day without traffic. In three hours, you can go past Nakuru.