There is no shame in conceding the fight when you've been exiled to the couch

As any man who has spent the night on the couch will tell you, it rarely feels like a victory.

It is not a fun place to spend the night, that lumpy couch that has imbibed centuries of silent farts and absorbed gallons of ‘accidental’ fluid… that couch which holds the unique buttprints of everyone in that household. Your couch is a perfectly sound surface on which to absentmindedly watch the latest trending show on Netflix. But it turns woefully inadequate when your wife declares that it will be your bedroom for the duration of whatever disagreement you refused to give her the satisfaction of winning.