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Readers dilemma; Struggling to fit

By - | December 12th 2012 at 12:00:00 GMT +0300

I am in Form Four in a Nairobi school. I grew up in a remote village and before I joined my current school, I had never been to the city. My parents are teachers and our home is considered well-to-do in the village. However, I found myself completely out of place when I got to Nairobi and since Form One, I have been struggling to fit in. I am confident and admired at home, but very timid in school. This has affected my self-esteem and performance. What do I do to overcome this?


Your Say 

It is natural to feel out of place and timid because of the big difference between your rural and city lifestyle. Self-confidence starts with you. The only way to fit in is to make friends. Try this and you will see the result.

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{Eric Achong’a, Busia}

How people view you should not bother you. What is important is your studies because when you excel, everyone will appreciate you, even the city students who didn’t think much of you.

{Caroline Wanjiru, Nakuru}

Where we are going is more important than where we came from. No one should judge us by our background because it is not our making. Don’t let what is not important derail you from the most important thing — your studies.

{Steve Toroitich, Eldoret}

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I went through the same and if it were not for a caring teacher who called me and talked to me, I would have failed in my studies. She advised me to avoid the rich and undisciplined friends I was trying so hard to impress. I am glad I listened because I wouldn’t have made it to university.


Being in Form Four, you should be thinking about more serious issues like the national exams than how you think people view you. Understand that everyone comes from somewhere. Issues of identity crisis only occur at around that age and you will soon outgrow them. This should not bother you.

{Aseri W Dickson, Kakamega}

Edith says

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It takes a strong person to be true to himself/herself, especially in high school when there is so much pressure to conform. You’ve survived three years of high school and this last year shouldn’t bother you. Stop trying to be someone you are not; it takes too much effort and you corrode your spirit in the process. What you have told me about your life will make for some rich stories some day.

Besides, we are all trying to be different in one way or another, so why would you want to blend in? To be obvious?

Don’t be embarrassed by who you are because it means you are ashamed of the parents who worked hard to get you to where you are. Hold your head high, focus on your exams and prove that it does not matter where you have come from.

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