I need courage to approach her

I am 36 years old and not yet married. There is this lady I really love but whenever I approach her to tell her how I feel, I lose all my strength and confidence and just find myself walking away.? I don’t know how to approach her and tell her that I love her, yet I feel that she is the only one for me. I have never loved anyone like this, to the point of wanting to marry her but for this lady, I really want her. Please help me…

{Stephen}

Simon

Says

Stephen, the good thing here is that you know what your problem is — lack of confidence. Confidence is critical in many situations, especially when it comes to dealing with women, but getting it is easier said than done. You cannot buy it and they say you cannot fake it. However, I think you have to fake it in the first instances, make a couple of mistakes then learn in the process. With a number of attempts here and there, you will learn and perfect the art.

There is one thing about women you need to know. When you approach a woman, even the one that seems to have stolen your heart, she is just as nervous as you are and she will be waiting for the conversation to end so that she can actually get a break.

This is a normal feeling brought about by a pleasant stress called eustress. Most people refer to that feeling of nervousness and unease as ‘butterflies in the stomach’. It is a good sign about the relationship.

Finally, know that harbouring deep feelings for a woman and not conveying that message to her is like winking to a woman in darkness; it is a futile undertaking.

Start with friendship because if you propose to her on the first date, she will run like mad. Watch the friendship grow to a level where you can confess your feelings to her. Friendship is a lot easier to start than a relationship.

Your Say 

Stephen. this is normal. All you need to do is to gather enough courage and invite her for coffee then tell her about your feelings. She is likely to feel the same and might only be waiting for you to make the first move, just like many women do.

{Mural Adhiambo}

 

You are indeed old enough to be married. Just overcome your shyness, approach the girl and tell her what you feel. What you need are some tips on self-assertiveness?and self-esteem. You will make it.

{Gertrude Audi, Nairobi}

 

Invite her out for dinner and reveal your intentions after the meal. It is possible that she also feels the same.

{Carolyne Awuor}

 

{Just approach her with confidence. Compose yourself and express your feelings to her and you may realise she has been waiting for you to make the move.

{Zachary Githaiga, Maseno University}

 

Steve, just make your move and tell her you love her. Don’t waste any more time; otherwise you will regret.

{Eva, Molo}

 

It’s normal to have such feelings when it comes to matters of love, irrespective of your age. Try to establish a friendly relationship with her, as this will help you build courage and understand her. With time, you will have no problem expressing your feelings.

{Fredrick Wanjala}

 

Try approaching her as a friend and when you get close, share your feelings. Hurry because another man may be eyeing her.

{Lilian Kuhora}

 

Just man up and face her. Have confidence in yourself and believe that you will win her heart. I’m sure you will be at peace once you tell her how you feel.

{Vivian Omutets, Kericho}