He will break my sister’s heart

My friend has been eyeing my sister and I think they are already dating. My sister is 19 and he is 21. I need your advice because this guy is a player. He has broken the hearts of many girls I know but no matter what I tell my sister, she just won’t leave him. She is convinced that he truly loves her and even when I tell her that he is a player, she says she will change him. I don’t want to see her heartbroken and I think I should do something to protect her against this guy, but I don’t know what to do. Please advise.

{Phillip}

Simon says

Phillip, just like in many other things in life, experience is the best teacher. All these things you are telling her do not make any sense to her. Player dudes have a way of handling girls that before she can even spell her full name, she is already eating from the palm of his hand. By now, she probably believes in him so much that anything you say against him is taken as hate speech, propaganda and innuendo aimed at tarnishing his otherwise good name. She could be thinking that this is coming from the fact that he is your friend and anyway, she may be wondering why you still keep him as your best buddy if he is this bad.

This does not mean you don’t have a role to play; you have a big one. First of all, you need to deal with him by asking him to leave your sister alone. The bro-code is clear that you should not date your friend’s family members or each other’s ex-girlfriends. There is no exception to this rule. He has to leave her alone.

It always works well when it is not your family members who are getting played. How will you feel when he eventually plays her like all the other girls he has? A leopard’s spots never fade my friend, and the same thing he has done to those other girls, he will do to your sister.

To help her understand what she is up against, you need to let her know that if she chooses to carry on with this relationship, you will terminate your friendship with him. This threat should be made real if they decide to push on. This will absolve you of all blame when things go wrong and you will not have to feel guilty about having a best friend who broke your sister’s heart right under your watch.

Your Say

Phillip, remember blood is thicker than water. Having watched your sister grow happily, it will be painful to see her heartbroken. Now that you already know his behaviour, try as much as you can to have him off your sister. Because your sister isn’t listening to you, it is better to involve your elder brothers, sisters or aunts. If this fails, let your parents know about it.

{Lichoro K Charles, Kenyatta University}

Phillip, a Swahili saying goes: Pilipili usioila, yakuashiani? (What does not directly concern you does not affect you). Anyway, it is good that you care for your sister and do not want to see her heartbroken. I, however, believe she is old enough to make her own decisions. Maybe the guy has changed or your sister is the angel sent from above to change him. The best thing you can do to help her is to watch from a distance and allow her to follow her heart.

{Ochaly Edwine, Muhuru Bay}

Phillip, you are obviously older and more experienced than your sister. Your sister is either too inexperienced or too in love to see your point of view. Warn her one last time and if she does not listen, let her be. Experience is the best teacher.

{Jim Kariuki, Nairobi}

There is something about a close friend dating your sister or brother that spoils everything. I think friends should be nothing more than friends because when other relationships are introduced, friendships rarely survive. Philip, just cut your friendship with this guy and let your sister be. She is old enough to use her mind.

{Rose Ruto, Nakuru}

Love is blind my friend. No amount or ranting can open your sister’s eyes to this guy’s true colours. Let her find out for herself. You cannot help her.

{Ciku Mwangi, Nairobi}