Crazy shades of a Kenyan farmer

By OYUNGA PALA

The country’s number one profession, farming, is attracting a whole new class of enthusiasts. I am not alluding to the typical chubby cheeked, prominent personality donning gumboots who looks out of place on their property. Far from it!

Over the last few years, a new class of young and hip corporate types has been paying glowing tributes to the humble profession. Agricultural trade shows continue to attract a breed of agro-entrepreneurs from white-collar job circles. It appears that the Kenyan middle class is no longer frowning down on farming.

This must explain the proliferation of starry-eyed opportunists who cannot stop yapping on about how much money there is to be made in farming. However, do not believe everything you hear. Farmers are not a homogenous group. Most self-proclaimed farmers will fall into one of these four distinct categories.

At the bottom of the pyramid is the peasant farmer. For these, class farming is the only means for survival. The peasant farmer lives on the brink. Every season, he gambles with the elements and returns diminish annually.

The soils on the inherited quarter acre plot are exhausted. He still has to contend with an annoying sibling who keeps encroaching on his patch. The lucky farmer will pray for an educated child to look after their needs in old age.

Colonial

At the top of this scale are the ‘gentleman’ farmers. They hail from the country’s farming belts and acreage starts from 40 hectares and upwards. Large-scale farming is a standing family tradition and they logically follow the established footsteps.

Picture him seated on the front porch of a colonial style farmhouse, wearing a large brimmed hat and gazing out to a boundary that appears to merge with the horizon. The produce is for export, biogas is manufactured for domestic use and the broken-down combined harvester will be worth more than the average wannabe yuppies’ Probox.

In the middle are the nature lovers. Farming is a hobby at best that allows escape from the rat race. This category is populated by jaded corporate types seeking a new Kenyan dream. They complain about urban congestion, traffic jams and the new consumer culture.

They hanker for a quieter life with no frills. So they will trade their Subarus for Datsun pickups and make drastic lifestyle changes. Despite opposition from their peer circle, they opt for a lesser station to free up time to pursue their new passion. The average couple will be characterised by a female who probably looks up to Michelle Obama’s arms and a guy who spews up a lot of intellectual twaddle.

Downshift

For what they lack in business acumen, they make up in philosophical insight.

One can recognise them quickly by their manner of speech. When they call on former colleagues from their rural retreats, expect to hear reasoning along the lines of, "We decided to downshift, find our rootedness with mother earth, eat more organic and develop meaningful connection with the grassroots."

The final lot is the hustler brigade. They have been around the block. They started with branded clothes from Dubai, skipped to M-pesa vending before trying their hand at imported cars from Japan and sniffing for deals in Turkana County.

Now, they cannot stop talking about how greenhouses "have money!" So they find a plot, source cheap labour and monitor the bottom line by phone.

A profitable outcome is expected in four months and with the quick fortune in export tomatoes, they are already dreaming butterfly farming because they hear people are doing very well selling silk!