A serving of tasty rodents for men of God

By PATRICIA WAWIRA

A group of local and foreign evangelists on a village tour were shocked when their village host revealed he had served them rodents. The men of God were on an annual mission to spread the gospel and win more faithful at Embu County.

According to a witness, some evangelists cursed their host vehemently after lunch on Thursday when he revealed they had consumed gravy containing wild vegetables, rats and lizards. According to Michael Njagi, who was plucking tea in a nearby farm, they were drawn to the compound when the arguments and curses escalated.

Apparently, one of the evangelists had suggested to their host that God had created everything for a purpose. It was at the mention of God’s creation when their host interrupted the speaker and spilt the beans.

"Exactly! You see, we have just consumed a meal that would be said to be unholy and unpalatable. Those are just plain taboos. We share the same beliefs, dear preacher. Everything was created for a purpose," said the host.

It was at this juncture that other men of cloth pushed their host to elaborate on what he had just said.

Unperturbed, he revealed how he had tried the meal on his family for some days after realising their food stocks were running out.

Without fear

According to one of the preachers, the man recounted the dramatic event without fear or shame. He sat squarely on the couch, cupped his hands, swallowed hard and cleared his voice and in a controlled manner, started his lecture.

"I have been looking around and seeing the glory of God in His creation. It is when hunger threatened our country that I decided to test the palatability of different plants, birds, wild animals and rodents.

"And who would have guessed that we ignore so much food and cry to the world that we are hungry?" he asked the bewildered evangelists.

However, hell broke loose when he revealed that part of his trial project had also found its way to the food he had just served his guests. What irritated the evangelists the most was the host trying to justify his heinous motives.

"And what a surprise to me when I saw you! God had brought his faithful to prove the safety of my project. Everyone here complemented the food and concurred it was delicious," he said.

It was at this instance when some evangelists started to vomit while others put fingers in their mouths and retched. Their host tried to assure them the meal was safe.

Eating for months

"We have been eating it for months. It was safe," he said while patting the forehead of his youngest son.

Since the foreign missionaries did not understand what was happening, it took the intervention of an interpreter to explain.

On listening to the recount, the two men grunted inaudibly.

They just removed some juice from their briefcases, sipped it and beckoned the others to walk away.