Garissa women up in arms as men prefer eating out

By Boniface Ongeri

If he is of a literary bent, a certain man in Garissa town might paraphrase the old quote thus: Hell hath no fury like a woman whose food is scorned.

The man, who was used to skipping his wife’s meals, had just settled down to a meal in a Garissa eatery when his wife stormed in.

He had been avoiding her food, she complained. That day, the man had told her he had no money to buy his family lunch only to be caught enjoying choice meat, known locally as forno, at the hotel.

"It has become normal for him to sneak out when food is being prepared only to return later claiming he is full," she said.

She did not spare a group of men eating in the same place.

"Why don’t you take the meals prepared by your wives and mothers?" she asked and was met with blank stares.

A group of women passing by urged her on.

"Our men don’t take the meals we prepare anymore," one shouted from the doorway.

"A lot of food goes to waste because our men don’t eat at home," another said.

The men just hung their heads in shame, while waiters watched the drama from the safety of the hotel kitchen.

It is common for men in North Eastern Province towns to go to local eateries for meals even when their homes are only a walking distance from town.

Women have long complained that the habit smacks of contempt.

Men interviewed by Crazy Monday however said that eating out gives the wives and children an opportunity to eat to their fill. They also say it helps them bond socially.

"When a man eats away from home he needs peace of mind. Nagging wives interfere and kill the appetite," one said.

His friend was more candid: "When a man eats in hotels, it tells his wife that her cooking is poor. They should know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach."

Keeping a mistress

Women, however, complain that this habit had led to the disintegration of families. When men avoid meals at home it could be the signal of an underlying problem, they say.

"Men have abandoned their family obligations and spend most of their money eating out," Sofia Ali, a housewife, complains.

"If they are not eating in their own homes what is to stop a woman suspecting that her husband is keeping a mistress somewhere?" a woman only identified as Mumina asked.

The women say they will hold a demonstration to protest against local hotels and eateries that allow married men to eat there.

"We will request the Government to keep an eye on some of these hotels to save families," Sofia says.

"Hotels are supposed to be for people who are staying away from their wives or a place where a family can eat out together occasionally."

Mumina adds: "We know the benefits of eating together. The husband gets to know about the state of his family.

"If we have had frosty relationship, mealtimes are the best time to solve the differences amicably.

"We need to feel appreciated by the men complimenting our cooking but when they don’t even taste our food, we feel like we are only being tolerated."