Why can’t a man take a dip without the hoopla?

By Crazy Writer

You have to hand it to the Prime Minister for elevating the simple matter of taking a dip in a swimming pool into headline news. It helped that he was dressed in spotless white, a most holy garb reminiscent of a sheep without blemish being led to the sacrificial table.

Further, his baptiser was not your average Bishop Deya but a man with a dreadlocked beard and a doctorate in microbiology who prophesises about earth tremors and such in his spare time.

Busybodies, as they are wont to, are already reading sinister and political motives in Agwambo’s baptism. They are saying, "Wasn’t Agwambo the man we saw at a Kaya ceremony in Kwale being made a traditional elder, complete with libations and native chants that his Anglican Church would frown upon?"

They are whispering in bars, too, saying, "Look, didn’t we see Agwambo adorned in Muslim garb in a mosque in the run-up to the 2007 elections? Isn’t it Agwambo that we saw at Wamalwa’s funeral with a spear in his hand and monkey skins on his head? Wasn’t he prancing left and right in a traditionalist send-off for the departed vice president?"

A cheeky cartoonist went even further, suggesting that the only reason Agwambo took that holy dip was to do with preparations for the 2012 General Election. Arrant nonsense if you ask me. Can’t a man get baptised, change his choice of beer or learn to sing without commentators reading political motives into his every move?

People, Raila’s baptism had everything to do with cleansing Kenya and absolutely nothing to do with schemes to lord it over this republic.

Prayers simply don’t work for politicians. As readers will recall, in 2007, Raila, Kibaki and Kalonzo trooped to every church, mosque and traditional shrine in search of divine intervention.

They all lost!

They wore kanzus, monkey skins and suits. Preachers of every hue prayed for and touched their foreheads and spat their blessings. But they all lost the election!

Alternatively, because God didn’t want to favour any of his three sons, he shoved the three into this collision government. Indeed, God works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.