Toy boys running amok

By Evelyn Ogutu

Madonna, the material girl has set the pace by dating a man young enough to be her son. The 50-year-old music diva and mother to three children aged between 12 and four is going out with a 22-year old Brazilian model, Jesus Luz.

Like Luz, a lot of young men are frolicking into the gold digging bandwagon, and doing so unreservedly. You only need to check the numerous adverts on the newspaper lonely pages as proof of this. The men know exactly what they want in an older woman, and ‘financially stable’ features prominently. Age is inconsequential, so is size, race or physical appearance. Indeed, a sizeable number of Kenyan men are taking lessons on "how to be a parasitic partner in a romantic relationship".

No qualms about it

With statistics released last year purporting that there are more than 2.5 million single, desperate women, these men are reaching for the skies in their newfound pot of gold. A colleague in his late 20’s once divulged: "I am not in a hurry to marry. First, I want a rich mama to spoil me before I settle down at 40 — the golden age when life begins".

George, a student at a city college, is also categorical about this new trend. He believes in living life to the fullest.

"What is the essence of life if not to be happy? If I find happiness in an older, rich woman who loves me, so be it".

This crop of gold diggers are also shouting about their triumph — walking hand in hand with their women, with gusto, oblivious of the startling stares and murmurs they ignite.

Chris, a sales representative says there are countless rich women who are lonely and in desperate need for someone to spoil and love them. "This is a gold mine and I am not afraid to go for it. Take the case of Mbugua and Wambui Otieno. Previously a poor mason, Mbugua is now leading a happy life. No hassle of children and he gets what he wants from his wife. That is the life I want. Why struggle when somebody can take care of all my needs," he posits.

Chris and George are the typical modern day male gold diggers. For them, the end on how they acquire their wealth justifies the means.

Selfish in nature

Michael Wafula 30, says he went in search of a rich mzungu woman after he lost his girlfriend of five years to a wealthy older man. "Bitterness and revenge drove me to the 50-year-old," he says. The Nairobi based IT specialist admits that once he ties the knot with this old woman, he too, will reveal his true nature and mistreat her. "All I want is her money, period", he says.

Jane Muriuki, a psychologist says it is not easy to pin-point a professional male gold digger on the onset as he is a sharp dresser and may even own a vehicle.

"He acts like a perfect gentleman just to earn your confidence and once he has you in his palm, he will manipulate and treat you like his cash cow," says Muriuki.

Chris, who was out looking for somebody to finance his college education, says poverty drove him to gold digging. "My parents struggled to raise me and I did not want to lead such a poverty- stricken life. If being labelled a gold digger is the worst that could happen for loving a rich woman, so be it," he says resolutely.

But there is also the down side of these kind of unions. Jane Njeri* says her 40-year-old mother hooked up with a 35-year-old man, who not only squandered all her estate, whose value counted in millions but also assaulted her physically.

It was not long before she and her brother pooled forces to drive the man out of their home.

Wangui Mwangi, a marriage and family counsellor says some men are also reduced to punching bags for their rich wives yet they cannot dare raise an eyebrow.

"They become like servants — and are insulted and assaulted — and not the respectable head of the family they ought to be," she says. "On the other hand, should the victim (woman) discover the man’s intended dirty tricks, he will be out in the streets before he knows it".

Conflicting opinions

Charity Nasieku, a banker will hear nothing of such injudicious romantic liaisons. "They do not last. People should marry each other not only for money but also love. Why should I be tied to a man I do not love?

But Fr Peter Githinji, the parish priest of Nanyuki Catholic Church and also a marriage counsellor is all thumbs up for the idea as long the couple is led by love.

"Love conquers everything including age. Where love is non-existent, only then would I consider the union wrong as the it would be equivalent to an act of selfishness," he notes.

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