Why Nairobi women should marry old men

Last year October when we woke up to the news that one of our celebrated female gospel artistes was getting married to a Nigerian pastor much older than her, tongues slithered and wagged.

It was a juicy topic in the local media and her response was brilliant. And when a beautiful Cape Verdean model of Ethiopian descent married a 63-year-old Edo State Governor from Nigeria, who is a widower, social media was on fire. His aides claimed the beauty was in her early 30s, although sources in the know alleged she was in her mid-20s. Either way, she looked much younger.

Now, before the naysayers throw these women into a propeller of disapproval and label them gold-diggers, hear me out. It is not always ultimately about the money.

The older, the saner...and I believe these women comprehend this only too well. See, these old guards remind them of old wine, distilled to perfection, matured to impeccable fine taste, leaving a lingering doozy taste in the mouth. Old wine caresses the throat as it glides effortlessly, leaving that bitter-sweet feeling that stimulates the tastebuds and consequently arouses a yearning for more. That analogy pretty much gives one an idea of why old is gold.

The perks that come with dating and marrying an older man (if you are lucky) can stretch from here to Timbuktu. These men are not easily intimidated by women of strong character, if anything; they have just the arsenal to tame them without bruising their ego. The other breed is intimidated. A woman’s independence is indeed an older man’s pride.

Meanwhile, ‘daddy’ would never come home at 3am because he has been out with the boys drinking, ogling at women, groping waitresses and still expect you to dutifully warm his food and wipe his puke. Nah, he’s been there, done that. He would rather spend time in the house, reading retirement magazines, waiting for the evening uji, staring at you as you strut around the house, smiling inwardly at his conquest.

While the other breed would regale in tales of their marital woes to their friends who would advise them to get mpango wa kando, an older man fathoms that the oilskin of the house is not to be rubbed into the skin of strangers.

Instead of whining to his drink buddies about how his woman is not spontaneous in bed and won’t ride him the reverse cow girl style, ‘daddy’ would be content with your fingers doing magic to his equally balding japolo. But if you find a macho one, he is confident and more selfless in bed, aiming to give you pleasure as this would do wonders to his ego.

There is no pressure in a union with an old man. He does not throw tantrums; his age would not allow him. He is calmer, has seen and experienced quite a lot and faces challenges more sagaciously and with knowledge. You would get sound advice from him on financial issues and life in general.

At a certain age, a man begins to wear his heart on his sleeve, he becomes predictable and tolerable. What woman does not want that! They are less demanding, more family-oriented and grasp more deeply the meaning of settling down. For the conservative women or those who cannot handle the hullabaloo that comes with dating young guys, these are the kind of men for you.

And of course older men are financially secure. This does not imply being rich; rather, they have perfected the art of saving for rainy days. They do not ask for house rent from buddies. Okay, so what if one stands to gain some monetary buoyancy? Having brought sunshine to an old man in his sunset years before he gets equally yoked with his ancestors, you deserve it.

And did I say these ‘daddies’ have impeccable taste in the finer things of life? If daddy zeros in on you, my lady you are exceptional.