Christmas comes early for Mombasa tenants as couple with noisy bedroom marathons gets evicted

We all have a neighbour or two from hell. Those who start banging cooking pots as early as 3 am, in the name of preparing breakfast! Or those who play loud music or live upstairs with children who play till late in the night, stamping their feet or slam doors with reckless abandon.

Well, if you have ever experienced such inconveniences, spare a thought for families that have been living next to a couple with noisy and chaotic bedroom marathons in Kisauni’s Bakarani estate, Mombasa County.

The couple was forced to vacate their latest abode a fortnight ago for the third time in two months after being evicted by landlords for screaming and making ‘weird’ noise during their nonstop ‘gland to gland’ combats.

Apparently, when the supposedly newly married couple, a Kisii man and his Giriama wife, gets into bed, sleeping is usually the last thing on their mind! Unfortunately, when they enjoy their time in the sack, neighbours, including children, are always left fuming with rage for they have no other option, but to endure the couple’s riotous ‘gland to gland’ combats.

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Reportedly, whenever the duo engages in the ‘act of rod’, the woman always launches into loud, strange nonstop soundtracks that keep neighbours awake. Needless to mention, their squeaky bed never makes matters any better.

Children imitating funny noises

What’s more, whenever the pissed off neighbours bang their bedroom wall in fury to make them tone down, the noise became even louder, with the unremorseful husband shouting back obscenities through the wall.

“Mind your own business, you idiots,” the man would yell whilst telling off neighbours in Swahili. At times, they engage in the ‘act of rod’ early in the evening, forcing neighbours to turn up the volume of their TVs or radios, which is in vain at times.

It is the couple’s latest unceremonious eviction that lifted the lid on their woes after the woman, in a fit of rage, blurted out that it was their third time to be forced out of a ‘plot’ by what she called “jealous neighbours”.

Their irate neighbours stormed the landlord’s home demanding he kicks them out or they vacate the house in droves. According Samson Jefwa, one of the neighbours who have been experiencing the duo’s wrath, the couple has no child. But, he argues, making babies is a great idea although not at the expense of other neighbour’s’ precious sleep.

Hear him: “Even five minutes would do. But this one is done none stop. We haven’t been sleeping because of their noise. The woman makes high pitched screams in Giriama and the man joins in Kisii. All activities in the plot would come to a standstill, forcing everybody to listen in on them, including children. The noise from their room is normally terrible. You would think somebody is killing cats,” Jefwa told Crazy Monday.

He said when he and two other men approached the Kisii man and politely told him he was making the ‘plot’ inhabitable, he told them off.

“He told us that we could not control his bedroom affairs. He said it was natural and that we were jealous,” Jefwa said. Jefwa was among the other tenants who stormed the landlord’s house, demanding the eviction of the couple after young children started imitating the noise.

The situation had also become unbearable as the man would come home during the day drunk and hit the sack with his wife,” explains Jefwa.

“Although the landlord, as many are wont, was reluctant to kick out the couple because he did not want to return their deposit, he was forced to oblige when we fundraised and raised the amount before the couple was bungled out of the house,” he said, adding the neighbours have no clue where the couple went, but they had become a talking point in at least three ‘plots’ around the estate.