You almost 30 years? Here’s how you know you are a train wreck-waiting-to happen woman

One of the most convenient and escapist lie that single, successful and independent women hawk around for their single-hood has to be the hare-brained excuse: Men are afraid of their cash or career. There is no basis for this fallacy. No research. No facts. No nothing! They just woke up one day and decided, ‘We are single because men cannot handle us’. Lies. Blatant lies peddled by badly behaved women.

This self-defeatist line is told by women who value their nails more than their culinary abilities, women who lack the requisite social skills of being a wife or girlfriend, women who believe that life is one endless party and think motherhood is an inconvenience that will affect their career, lifestyle and above all their sex life.

They are the women who have adopted the Western version of feminism which is totally inapplicable here. Such women are gifted with great bookish brains. Their career trajectory starts with studying a prestigious course in university. Then they go into blue-chip companies. By the time she turns 30, she is a breath away from the zenith of her career life. Along the way she amasses more wealth than she can handle.

While busy chasing THE dream, they forget to cultivate a good personality necessary in marriage or a functional relationship. Such women forget there are successful women who are happily married with functional families. I know many, actually majority who work and believe in marriage. They recognise the need to make certain adjustments necessary for marriage to work.

Dangerous ambition

The other clique that believes men are scared of them can make you sick. Some say the male ego is too fragile to handle a woman who earns more than a man. It is true, but it is more about the attitude of the woman and less of the male ego. Few women can take care of the bills and manage to shut up. Many can pay but they will broadcast their bread-winning in the family.

Once a man takes in a woman who earns more than him, he must be ready for abuse, mostly emotional. Men have abused power with their money in the past. And I have noted women have as much capacity to abuse the power money grants them. It is the small things they say. Those impatient calls and snide comments when the man overstays out quaffing one with friends. It is the dangerous ambition that has no place for the man or children that serves to drive men away. Sadly, they still believe a man must pay the dowry and foot the main bills.

The Sicilians long ago advised their men to avoid women who are more ambitious than them. And it seems men are inherently wired to steer clear of such women. We know, ambition can consume a woman to a point she gets delusional. They mostly sober up in their late 30s when it dawns on them that only jokers who are good in bed are available. Society profoundly frowns at the social ugliness of an otherwise sensible older woman who gets her kick from bedding younger men. And regrettably, now many have to pay such studs.

I advise women to nurture potential skills around the kitchen, home-making and learn that when the man is the head of house, it is just a titular role. Both men and women have to submit in marriage. Make adjustment to accommodate men without being condescending. Work on your attitude. Life is not perfect and the world does not owe you a man of your dreams.

And stop the convenient lie that men cannot handle your money or career. We are never that interested in your cash, as you may think.

@nyanchwani

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