×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

Why do men act the way they do? Find out the strange traits

My Man

 

From HAVING to rule the barbecue to peeing on the seat, Why Men Skim Stones by Chris Windle delves into the male brain to explain blokes' quirky behaviour

This is a man’s world – and that means airport lounges will always be able to sell pints of beer at six in the morning.

It also means half the population will never send a Christmas card and women can dream on if they want to take control of the remote.

A new book titled Why Men Skim Stones delves into the male brain and seeks to explain those strange traits that make men, well, men.

Author Chris Windle says: “Some men will laugh and think, ‘Ha, that’s not me’ – just before practising a forward defensive prod with an imaginary cricket bat.

“Some may find solace in the fact they are not alone, and feel a little pride in these shared quirks.”

So, how many of these traits do you recognise in yourself – or the man in your life?

Airport drinking

Breakfast? If you're flying abroad, it's fine to drink lager at 5am, isn't it?

There is only one place you can have a pint of lager for breakfast without raising concerns about your drinking habits. And that’s the airport. Normal rules don’t apply in the departure lounge. Time loses meaning. After all, even if you’ve just woken up, it might be pub o’clock wherever it is you are travelling to.

Alphabetising CDs

A man often confuses “cleaning” with “rearranging his stuff”. That is why if he is asked to do the housework he might be found, several hours later, surrounded by CD cases and listening to Meat Loaf.

Barbecuing

Men who show no interest in cooking in the kitchen spring into action at the prospect of roasting raw animal flesh on the patio. It is a challenge the inner alpha male cannot resist, bearing little ­resemblance to the effete act of preparing food anybody would actually want to eat.

Bets

If you want a man to humiliate himself, simply bet that he can’t. Only the most enlightened fellow can resist a challenge to his capabilities, even if it is his ability to eat a vindaloo while swimming across dangerous waters, wearing his late grandmother’s favourite ballgown.

Channel-hopping

Who's in charge of the remote control? The man, of course (Photo: Getty)

Give a man a TV remote and he will keep himself amused for hours. Men live in constant fear that something better is happening somewhere else. Even though nothing better is ever happening on ITV4.

Discussing roads

When a man asks a recently arrived male guest if he has had a good journey, he is hoping to initiate a conversation that will allow him to tell the tired traveller about a little- known B-road that would have saved him half an hour.

Hiding in sheds

When a man is in his shed he hopes that his nearest and dearest will assume he is up to something useful. He knows he won’t be disturbed because nobody else in this world is silly enough to want to while away their spare time in a space that is home to a colony of woodlice and a ferocious draught.

Ignoring instruction manuals

Why read instructions when it is possible to construct a cabinet by instinct? Step-by-step guides are for slow-witted souls – reading them is a sign of failure. Some people may believe 10 minutes spent reading a small booklet is a clever investment, saving hours swearing at a hinge later on. But what do they know?

Inaccurate peeing

Men, like dogs, can be domesticated. Once cohabiting, most learn not to wee on their own toilet seat. But freed from the hygiene regime he endures at home, man quickly loses all sense of toilet decorum.

Not sending Christmas cards

Who's on your list? Apparently, men soon grow out of sending Christmas cards

To men, Christmas cards are a colossal waste of time and paper. Why bother when the recipient will engage with it for 30 seconds tops before standing it behind a nativity scene sent by Auntie Dorothy?

Overuse of condiments

There is no meal that cannot be improved by one of the many hot sauces and chutneys taking up space in the average man’s fridge.

Packing the car

Arranging objects in a car boot isn’t just a chance to show off spatial-reasoning skills, it is also a way to dodge the more stressful pre-holiday activities, such as getting the kids ready and finding passports.

Rearranging testicles

I'm just rearranging the furniture: Vinnie Jones helps Paul Gascoigne with some feng shui

Often referred to euphemistically as “rearranging the furniture”, even though very few pieces of furniture actually resemble male genitalia.

Sitting on the loo

Just catching up on current affairs: Men like to read on the toilet

Most male bathroom visits involve standing over a toilet, so sitting on one is something of a novelty. Men like to savour the moment, often reading a newspaper or book and extending the stay to haemorrhoid-inducing lengths. But that’s a small price to pay for 20 uninterrupted minutes with the sports section.

Spreading out

Like gas, a man will always expand to fill the space available. On public transport and in cinemas he will monopolise the armrest and the legroom areas, given the chance.

Sulking about football results

The football-loving man invests huge amounts of emotional, and actual, capital in his team. If that team loses, it makes him very unhappy indeed.

Related Topics


.

Similar Articles

.

Recommended Articles