My husband wants to have every woman he sees

I have been married for six years and have one child. Throughout my marriage, I have known nothing but heartbreak. My husband is a womanizer who has relationships with any woman that gets close to him including his secretary who has his child. He also has a two-year-old child with one of our former maids and he has been having an affair with a woman who lives next to us. The torture of seeing her every day kills me. I have been trying to deal with the pain of all this betrayal but I am not able to. I need help to deal with this and with him. I am not financially stable to support our child on my own otherwise I would have left a long time ago. Please advise me. {Eunice}

Your Take:

Eunice, I can only imagine what you are going through with this man. This must be unbearable for you. I can only pray for you and God will heal your pain and help you through this. Trust in Him and he will fight for you.

{Victoria Wanjiku}

What are you still doing with that man? It is only a matter of time that you will become infected with a sexually transmitted disease or leave you for one of his concubines. It is time you made a decision with your life and your child’s interest at heart.

{Fridah Muoka}

The only way you can fully recover from this is if he tells you that he will stop this and for him to tell you everything you want to know. However, be advised that in some instances, the less you know, the better it is for you. Take your time and identify what is right for you in this relationship.

{Andrew Didy Chaplin}

This is truly heart-breaking and his behavior is abnormal. He also doesn’t seem bothered by his irresponsible behavior despite the risks. If he is not satisfied with you, why don’t you encourage him to get another wife instead of going around with all manner of women? Let him know that his actions are putting the whole family at risk.

{Ouma Ragumo Sifuyo}

You will die if you continue staying in that marriage. He is not about to change. If you went your way, you would definitely think of a way towards financial stability and you will lead a better life. Remember he would also be compelled to contribute towards your upkeep. Think smart and walk out of that man’s life.

{Tasma Saka}

Counselor’s Take:

There are several possibilities that could explain this behavior. The first one is pure lust. As a matter of nature, men are essentially created with an underlying urge to be with different women as a sign of dominance and for procreation. However, while the feeling and need is inherent, it is not imperative that they should pursue it especially not with the dangers that lurk around in the present day.

 The second reason is that he may be suffering from inferiority complex where in an attempt to feel superior, he takes many women to bed as he could. The third could be most probably a skipped stage earlier on in his life – that youthful stage where a man just wants to be a “player” and he is living that phase now.

Either way, nothing can justify such a habit from a mature man especially with the dangers of contracting HIV or even bearing children with different women. He is working very hard at complicating his life and it appears that he is actually succeeding.

His choice of women is also quite peculiar because he seems to want those that are very much in your circle. This is rather strange and befits a man who has little respect for his wife. Many men will have extra-marital affairs but few will mess around with their househelps, secretaries and the woman next door. If he is not getting back at you for something then he has a deep and underlying problem for which he needs to seek help.

The best way to deal with this is to ask him to seek treatment as he seems to have a psychological disorder. He also needs to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing fancy and intriguing about having children with the neighbours, househelps, secretaries and God know how many other women.

When they come calling demanding for child support and maintenance, he will not be walking as tall and proud with long ears as he seems to be doing at the moment. If he cannot bring himself to reconcile all that is happening and to craft a way forward on his and your life then set him free. Encourage him to do it even more because sometimes the things we want the most are those that are prohibited and heavily guarded against. {Taurus}