Hot date… literally!

A really handsome jamaa joined as a new employee to a firm that I was attached to as an intern. Guess what? He started hitting on me, and there was no way I was going to turn him down. Even better for me, I was leaving the company to resume my studies, so it was perfect, as we would not be forced to feel weird the next day at work after a date.

On my last day of attachment, he offered to take me out for lunch. We went to an Indian restaurant. My mistake? I did not know that half the food on the menu had chilli. After being served, I went on to add more chilli. The food was so hot, yet I did not want my date to know that I was suffering. But you can rarely trick nature. Tears started flowing from my eyes, followed by light mucus. Let’s just say it turned out to be so messy. Nobody would have an appetite after such an ordeal.

Milly

What’s in a name?

I used to work for a man named Dick. It was not a short form or anything whatsoever. His son also happened to work at the same company, at a senior position than mine.

One day the son was off duty. So, he called the office for his messages and I was giving him a message from his father. Unfortunately, I had a slip of the tongue and said "Your d**k said..." I meant to say, ‘your dad’, since that’s how I’d always addressed him when talking about his father. He was visibly angry and he could not believe that it was a slip of the tongue. From that day I switched to using ‘Mr Dick’, regardless of whether it was the son or dad.

Suzzie

　

Celembarrassment

Trapped outside

My most embarrassing ordeal was in my early days of my music career at a Nairobi club where I was scheduled to perform. When the much-awaited day came, I went there psyched up and ready to rock the crowd. When I got to the venue, I found a long queue at the entrance but feeling like the star I thought I was, I went direct to the entrance. I was so shocked to be stopped by a mean-looking bouncer, who asked me who I was.

Certain that my name would save me from this commoner’s treatment, I told the bouncer that I was ‘the’ Trapee. I could not believe that he hadn’t heard of me. To add salt to injury, he went ahead to shout loudly for all to hear that my name was not on the guest list. As if that was not bad enough, the bouncer asked the guys at the queue if they knew who I was and to my utter shock, nobody recognised me.

To save my face, I insisted on getting in. The angry bouncer would have none of that. He roughed me up and ordered me to queue! "Panga line kama wengine na ulipe!" he shouted. Throughout the ordeal, the event organiser, was not picking my calls as I was roughed up and humiliated. Eventually, he just ‘happened’ to be stepping out of the club and found me stranded by the entrance. To avoid such aibu ndogo ndogo, I have a manager to handle such issues nowadays.

Trapee