Girl gangs on prowl

By Stevens Muendo

The single, Miss Independent by R&B bad-boy Ne-Yo was an instant hit with the fairer sex, and immediately shot to the top of nearly all charts.

The song’s rise to the top was not just about the groovy beats and resonating vocals but the lyrics, which lauded single independent girls.

In fact, the lyrics go like; Ooh there’s something about kinda woman that can do it for herself. I look at her and it makes me proud, there’s something about her. There something ooh so sexy about the kinda women that don’t even need my help. She says she got it, she got it, no doubt.

"There’s something about her. Cuz she work like the boss, play like the boss. Car and a crib, she about to pay em both off. And her bills are paid on time. She made for a boss, soley a boss. Anything less, she’s telling em to get lost. Thats the girl that on my mind.

Bold and beautiful

Today, most of these girls have what many men just dream of, in terms of wealth. They party in a gang, and even end up picking a guy they like, just for the night. Gone are days that girls sat back and waited for a man to approach them. So, if you ended in a girl’s bed after you met in a club, and you had a one nightstand, don’t laud yourself as the player. You have been played. Probably even the phone number she gave you was fake.

You are not alone as statistics show that numerous young men have found themselves scratching their heads the morning after (no pun intended) after the girls they just met and slept with them, throws them out at the wee hours . The witty new urban girl has changed the whole sex and dating game, altogether.

A few weeks ago, 26-year-old Sam; an accountant; was partying with pals in a classy joint in Westlands. Usually, the former campus mates would meet at the joint and partake the innocent social drink. They would stay on until the traffic jam eased, then part ways at 10pm, each to his pad.

But something unprecedented happened. Sam never made it home, neither did his two friends. No, they are not dead; they just didn’t go home that night. With semi-amused bitterness, the rather soft-spoken guy recounts the ordeal of how a group of girls took them as chips fungas, in a bizarre charade where the girls are picking guys instead of vice versa.

That night at the uptown club, as they ‘pinted’, a bevy of beauties showed up, and took the adjacent table before placing an order of assorted alcoholic cocktails.

"They were dead gorgeous, classily dressed girls, the kind that gets every man’s head turning" narrated Sam. They were not accompanied, neither did they seem to expect anyone as they drunk, smoked and gossiped without a care in the world.

"We were clearly smitten and offered to throw a round for them — which they accepted. They kept on flashing flirty smiles in our direction. In another 20 minutes, they placed an order for us and we felt flattered" recounts Sam. It is in very rare circumstances when a girl, especially a pretty stranger, will buy drinks for you in a pub.

Reacting to the drink offer, the guys ordered another round of cocktails for the girls, then the girls hit them with a second round. And finally, the guys made the move and joined the girls, who gladly welcomed them to their table. Little did the young men know that they had been baited. This was a vivacious sex girl gang on prey, and the catch was now half way home. If this scenario were at a national park, the cheetah would be making a stealthy approach for the gazelle.

"We had a lively chat and in minutes, we were like old friends. They were chatty and jolly as they took up every debate we raised. From career, lifestyle and general issues, they sounded well versed with life. Their beauty was irresistible and not one minute did I question their motive," Sam recalls.

"It was now way past midnight and I knew I should be going home. But now, I was totally hooked. This tall,dark skinned girl next to me assured me that she would drop me home in her car. The drinks kept flowing. My friends were equally comfortable with the other two girls."

Gradually, the chat graduated from basic issues to personal life stories. They talked about relationships, romance and sex. It had been an absorbing evening, then it was time to head home.

True to her word we walked together to her car, recalls Sam. But instead of heading to Nairobi’s CBD, she sped towards Runda. She said I needed to take breakfast at her place since I was a bachelor. A guard opened the main gate into the mansion. Then she sneaked me quietly to her bedroom from where I was served with more liquor," notes Sam.

Pure fantasy

"It all felt like a weird dream, sort of a fantasy. She seduced me. We canoodled and romanced, and before I knew it, we had gone all the way," he says.

Then the sad twist to the fairy tale and wonder pleasure came to an abrupt end at 4am. Sam was rudely awoken by the girl and given marching orders to leave the house immediately, as she was through with him. She had wanted him for a one-night stand. She didn’t give a hoot how he’d find his way home. She threatened to let the dogs out (literally), wake her parents up and call cops although not necessarily in that order.

In shock and still totally high, Sam dressed up and made his way through the gate, begging the security guard to help him locate his way to the main road. He could barely recall how they had driven there, but nevertheless, he had to get out of the compound fast.

It was like the Eminem song ‘superman’ in reverse:

You put out, now I want you out, won’t get out, I’ll push you out …

The ephemeral culture of girl gang sex hunters is a new phenomenon in Nairobi, which young men are beginning to dread. The new trend is synonymous amongst the working class and single women in a case of reversed roles, where the girls hoodwink guys with the sole mission of getting one-night sexual satisfaction.

Such gangs are termed as ‘locs’ in street circles. Other people refer the practice as sexaholism. And in Nairobi and other major towns, it is called chips funga (packed fries), a mockery term which simply implies that a man has been packed by a woman like a snack or a take-away meal.

Such sex gangs are common in up-market clubs and other high-life social places such as VIP parties, uptown shopping malls and rugby tournament grounds.

The women are all luscious, drive flashy cars, dress the part and bond over classy cocktails. They have the cash to intimidate men who think they are cheap sluts in the club waiting for someone to bail them out.

While the majority have well paying jobs with leading corporate firms, others run their own business, while another class belongs to the society’s elite (daddy’s gals) in the political and social strata.

There is also another group; notorious university girls who will house male colleagues in their campus cubes for a one nightstand, never caring for long- term relationships.

Yet there is another lot of women — forget groupies — who target young celebrities and who would give anything to have sex with their target celebrity. Like Jimmy Gait puts it in the lyrics of his hit single Muhadhara, so obsessed is that wealthy lonely woman that she will be willing to part with her state-of-the art car in exchange for sex. Okay, the lyrics may sound a little exaggerated, but there are lasses who will sleep with a star just to brag and name him as a conquest later to her envious friends.

A certain media celebrity recently was out of town on official duty. What started as a friendly drink with a curvaceous campus lass turned into a ‘nightcap’ at her room. After a night full of passion, the fellow was awoken up at cock’s crow with the urgent warning: "My boyfee is a bouncer and likes visiting me early on Sato morning, so you gotsa go." He had to make a quick exit.

Everyone’s tango

Recently, a top ranked woman working with a popular broadcaster was spotted dropping a teenager at the Westlands roundabout in the morning. The flashy teenager was suspected to have spent the night in her uptown hotel room during her two-day visit to Kenya.

Lawmakers are also love makers. A female MP in the current Parliament has allegedly been preying on young college boys for sexual fulfilment. Her latest catch is said to be a foreign male student in a leading private university.

And it was just the other day when another young man working with a reputed media house complained of yet another woman in public limelight chasing him for sex. Research shows that men are increasingly becoming too intimidated of the new class of ‘rich single girls’, who trapped in loneliness, have been forced to source for sexual satisfaction.

"There is nothing wrong to make an advance on a guy at this age and time. Women are going for what they want. The thing about chips funga is that you don’t have to keep on thinking of responsibilities and liabilities. Unlike a lover, you only have your chips funga for a night. Throw him out, and life goes on," says Joan, a 27-year-old banker.

"I have a two bed-roomed apartment and I’m single. Why should I then party out and end up in a man’s house if I can house him for a night. After all, I believe the feeling is always mutual. I see chips funga as a win-win situation. Its like having a willing buyer and willing seller," says Nancy, another youthful banker.

It is not in all cases that when a group of girls is having a girls’ out that they don’t need male company. Contrary to popular belief, in most cases, it is a question of consolidating women power, taking charge and playing mind games on targeted males as opposed to the reverse – or vice in reverse.

The whole gang-like club style is calculated at intimidating unwanted random clubbing men, who still live under the notion that a lone girl in the club is an easy catch.

Morning after

"It once happened to me. I met this girl in the club who offered me drinks and I ended in her house that night where we had sex. The next morning she dropped me at the bus stop. Since then, she has never called me," confesses Shadrack, a marketer. Even as you read this its highly possible that yet another set of men will be chips funguad tonight!