The rules of Valentines

By Chiquitta

Valentine’s Day has become, arguably, the most popular gift-giving day second only to Christmas. Every February, the attached and the single await this day with a mixture of dread and excitement. Most enjoy the lovey-dovey feelings the day invokes, the countless events planned around it and the crazy quests for Valentine’s presents that don’t always hit the mark. Most of us hate the fact that everyone from shopkeepers to musicians jump onto the lovemaking bandwagon in a bid to make a quick buck. Maybe it’s time we petitioned the government, NASA, the CID headquarters and Tyra Banks to create a different holiday. Here are a few tips for those new to the whole Val’s razzmatazz…

Do exchange gifts

If you have a Valentine’s date, buy them something. It does not have to be those extravagant Nagin Pattni gifts, unless you can afford it, in which case, go right head. Secondly, don’t try to impress someone you have only known for a short while with an over the top gift, it may not work out and you will never see them or your gift again. Third, go for a quirky gift instead of the usual roses and chocolates. If you are a chick, make some extra effort and take the guy out for a change. In fact you can swap roles, when you get home he can cook and do the dishes while you put up your feet and watch your favourite soap, Scandal.

Do indulge yourself

By indulge, I don’t mean getting drunk but we will come to that later. If you are single and feeling ‘woe is I this Valentine’s’, treat yourself instead of waiting for someone to treat you. Buy yourself a small pick me up or plan a night of self-pampering, If you are a dude, there’s always football which has also been known to cure insomnia, dizziness and gout.

Do have fun

Try not to take the day too seriously, so what if your dude got you one of those tiny cheap ten bob cards instead of a red Ipod, it’s not Armageddon! The world didn’t stop because it was Valentine’s Day, you still have to get up on Monday and go on living. And please, don’t be a jellyfish by stinging the joy out of your mates’ romantic plans this Valentine’s. Find a way to enjoy yourself even if it means staying home to learn the choreography to BeyoncÈ’s Single Ladies or going out to a singles only event. I vouch for the latter.

Do surprise someone

Quit the navel gazing and try to make someone else’s day instead. Take your mum out for lunch or buy your aunty something nice. Valentine’s day has become a day synonymous with couples and singles looking to hook up. This should not be the case; you can spread the love to those close to you by surprising them with a small thoughtful gift.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep

I have a guy friend who couldn’t imagine facing Valentine’s without his chick so he made some plans with a chick he had recently met. This would have been great had he not been in a long distance relationship. And you know what they say about the best laid plans, the day before Valentine’s his long distance girlfriend surprised him with a call saying she had just come back and couldn’t wait to spend time with him. She also mentioned the many presents she had brought from abroad. Needless to say, he jumped at the chance to see his long distance girlfriend and subsequently stood up the new chick. But it’s not only guys who can be heartless, a girl I know, took one look at her paltry Valentine’s gift, laughed, gave it back and walked away.

Don’t be desperate

For those desperately seeking their very own valentines, quit with the phone calls, SMS’s and loud hints, it’s not going to happen. By tomorrow the pressure to find a Valentine’s will be at an all time high because it’s a weekend and nobody wants to be the guy or chick that spent Saturday night at home. As the saying goes, "If it’s gonna happen, it will happen" so stop getting stressed up.

Don’t get too drunk

Did you know that the guy or girl who gets drunk on Valentine’s hexes his or her future hook-ups for good. That is unless cupid happens to be in the building and somehow hooks both the guy and the girl using their beer goggles. This is however not an ideal scenario. Beer goggles have never been a great way to hook up, in fact they have never been a great anything, ask people who have lost a few teeth while drunk, they can testify to that. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.