Cannibal Vs Risasi

Cannibal

By Caroline Nyanga

Pulse: What would you do if you were caught with elderly jungu woman?

Cannibal: Nothing. However, I’d consider staying away from wasororaji. All the same, an old jungu women is not my cup of tea.

P: What do you think of the name Risasi?

C: I believe it simply conveys a bad boy image as opposed to the misconception that it stands for a jamaa who walks around with bunduki.

P: If you were stuck in a jam and Risasi came pointing a gun to your head, how would you react?

C: I would be shocked considering that he is my friend. Nevertheless, I would listen to what he has to say but if the worse comes to worst then I would resort to using my martial arts skills (I have a black belt) to scare him away.

P: How would Risasi fare as a hip-hop deejay for one hour?

C: Atadissiwa mbaya (he will be dissed by fans) In short, hiyo one-hour inaweza leta noma.

P: Between the two of you who rocks?

C: That would be obviously me! I mean mafans wameshaamua and there is nothing much I, nor Risasi can do.

P: If you are to rate Risasi out of ten what would you give him?

C: A seven would do, after all, he is a good artiste.

P: Would you ever consider curtain-raising for Risasi?

C: Never! I believe I am too big for that. Alternatively I would request his brother Suzuki to step in for me.

P: If you ever did a collabo with Ohangla artiste Tony Nyadundo, how would the song go- and what would the title be?

C: It would be hip-hop ohangla fusion. I think the name would be Halway a mixture of Luo and Swahili.

P: If the two of you were put in a mutura eating competition who would emerge the winner?

C: Risasi of course, because he is a fast eater.

P: If Risasi were on stage performing and his sagging jeans fell off what colour or make of underpant do you think he would be in?

C: Something close to Fathers Union yaani the old checked or white underwear.

P: If you woke up one day only to find that you are Risasi, what would you do?

C: You must be kidding me! Trust me I would throw myself into the sea. I love myself the way I am.

Risasi

Pulse: What would you do if you were caught with an elderly jungu woman?

Risasi: Siezi tishika because a lot of false information has been said and written about me by people who got their facts wrong. On the other hand, the fact that they may not have much information about the so-called woman may not bother me. Watajijazia.

P: Do you think Cannibal has ever ‘dished’ (eaten) a human being?

R: That’s a difficult one. But all the same I doubt. There are human Cannibals amongst us though.

P: If you were stuck in a jam and Cannibal came pointing a gun to your head, how would you react?

R: Are you talking about Cannibal, my friend? Well since he would be having a gun he would definitely be in control. I would surrender and ask him politely to calm down, ask him what his demands are and find a way forward.

P: How do you think Cannibal would fair playing a reggae deejay for at least an hour?

R: Watamchapa na mawe. This is because he may not be familiar with the reggae songs the fans want.

P: Between the two of you who rocks?

R: I do not want it to look like I am favouring myself but it would be definitely me. Unlike Cannibal who thinks that he rocks, I am a good musician. Game yangu iko juu tuu sana!

R: If you are to rate Cannibal out of ten what would you give him?

R: A zero perhaps- sijui niseme! He knows why.

P: Would you ever consider curtain raising for Cannibal?

R: Well, I wouldn’t mind considering we have come a long way. Cannibal is like an elder brother to me.

P: If you ever did a collabo with Ohangla artiste Tony Nyadundo how would the song go — and what would be the title?

R: I would go for something that targets both the young and old. Nyadundo appeals to the elderly and so I will bring in the other concept.

P: If the two of you were put in a mutura eating competition who would emerge the winner?

R: The greedy person and that can be either of us.

P: If Cannibal’s sagged trousers were to fall off on stage what colour of boxers would he have?

R: A black or dark blue colour ya kuficha uchafu, so he can have a chance of rewinding the following day.

P: If you woke up one day only to find that you are Cannibal what would you do?

R: I would aim at changing my ways. Although Cannibal knows he is talented, he has chosen to take advantage of it with the aim of misusing it.